As I sit down on the couch to have devotions while my children are napping, I first pick up a couple of crayons off the couch and clear a spot for my afternoon cup of coffee on the coffee table. I lean back onto a wooden knife and kiwi and I smile. I have children.
I take a shower and I hear little voices calling, "Mommy". I would love five minutes of peace to shower, but the years it took me to get to this place, instead, make me smile. I have children.
I sit down to eat lunch and there is a smiling face next to me and another across from me. I forgot their water cups and the napkin holder is empty. Someone spills their drink and the dog needs to go outside. This is my new "lunch". It is beautiful to me. Yes, I remind myself, it is beautiful. I have children.
She puts on a frilly dress and she spins and twirls. She wants to be in my arms as I am trying to make dinner. Why do I wish she would go play? I scoop her up and remind my heart to treasure these moments, I have a daughter.
For every explanation there seems to be another "why". He is so inquisitive and his little mind is soaking up every new piece of information and experience that comes his way and he must know why. Why do I sometimes wish he would stop asking why? I look to his dad for an answer and offer this sweet boy yet another explanation, for I have a son.
Sometimes I have to remind myself of the beauty in the everyday, for even though I waited a long time for these moments, it is still too easy to take them for granted. I so want to treasure every precious moment God gives me with my children, even the everyday ordinary moments. These moments are opportunities for praise. I have children. I haven't forgotten the pain and ache of the wait, the longing and the wondering. Now they are home, in my home, and all I can say is, "Thank you Jesus. Thank you for the everyday".
"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows" ~James 1:17
Friday, January 30, 2015
Tuesday, January 13, 2015
Target
Today, I went to Target WITH my children. This was actually our second trip, but my first with just the kids and it definitely made me reflective. Its the little things sometimes, you know?
I use to drive over to Target on lunch breaks or after work and walk around day dreaming about my children being home. I would hold up clothes and wonder what size they would be in, walk down the toy aisles and wonder what their interests would be and what they would enjoy playing with.
I often had an ache in my heart as I walked around that store. I would see moms talking softly to their babies (or even loudly to their toddler!) and my heart would ache because my babies were on the other side of the world.
Not today. My babies were in the shopping cart right there with me and my heart was full. And the wondering? The wondering is over!! I know what size my little munchkins are and I know what their interests are and what they like to play with.
Is it more work to get two kids in and out of car seats? Of course. Did it take me twice as long to get the things on my list? Yes. Did I buy more things that were not on my list than things that were on it? Sure did, but I did that before kids too!
I hope my kids always know how longed for and loved they were and are. For years before we ever knew about them, we longed for them. During those years of waiting, God was preparing our hearts, home, and lives for them. In a way only He can, He was working out a plan to bring us together. He always has a plan our God does. It is strange and mysterious and even painful at times, but He has a plan. This is a hope that I will always hold on to, He has plans to give us, you and me, a hope and a future.
I use to drive over to Target on lunch breaks or after work and walk around day dreaming about my children being home. I would hold up clothes and wonder what size they would be in, walk down the toy aisles and wonder what their interests would be and what they would enjoy playing with.
I often had an ache in my heart as I walked around that store. I would see moms talking softly to their babies (or even loudly to their toddler!) and my heart would ache because my babies were on the other side of the world.
Not today. My babies were in the shopping cart right there with me and my heart was full. And the wondering? The wondering is over!! I know what size my little munchkins are and I know what their interests are and what they like to play with.
Is it more work to get two kids in and out of car seats? Of course. Did it take me twice as long to get the things on my list? Yes. Did I buy more things that were not on my list than things that were on it? Sure did, but I did that before kids too!
I hope my kids always know how longed for and loved they were and are. For years before we ever knew about them, we longed for them. During those years of waiting, God was preparing our hearts, home, and lives for them. In a way only He can, He was working out a plan to bring us together. He always has a plan our God does. It is strange and mysterious and even painful at times, but He has a plan. This is a hope that I will always hold on to, He has plans to give us, you and me, a hope and a future.
Friday, January 9, 2015
Christmas Still
Friday, January 9th. January 9th already? Most have taken down their Christmas trees and have returned to life as normal. Life as normal? What is normal life? May I just tell you that I am loving my new normal life?!
My Christmas tree is most certainly NOT taken down, nor are any of my other Christmas decorations. It is still very much Christmas around here, most especially in my heart. I don't ever want this season to end, the awe and wonder I feel just sitting here looking at my tree with the toy nativity set under it. My children are home. My eyes are full of tears. I have waited a long time for this Christmas, for these moments of being a mom, and I am going to keep soaking it all in, even if my tree is still up come February!
There has been something magical about coming home with our children this time of year, during the season we celebrate Jesus' birth. Our children's very first day in our house was Christmas. The very first story we read to them here, was the Christmas story. Marc read and I acted it out with our toy nativity set and explained in Thai. All of the books in the downstairs of our home are Christmas books, many of them with the story of Jesus' birth in them, so the kids keep bringing them to me to look at and read with them. Yes, yes, I will stop what I am doing and tell you again about Jesus' birth and how much He loves you. Oh how I have waited and longed for these moments.
They had never opened presents before so that was a fun first. They figured it out pretty quickly! We made a turkey on Christmas day and the kids loved it, of course they ate it with rice! A dear friend dropped off a cake and candles so we could sing happy birthday to Jesus and after some discussion over who should blow out the candles, we all blew together.
Together, together at last. For those of you who are still waiting, hang in there and hold on to hope. The dream of having children really can and does come true.
Yesterday, while I was cleaning up the kitchen, I heard a soft song coming from the other room, my dear son was singing God is So Good, with his own sweet pronunciations of the words. God is so good. The first time I sung this to them, I couldn't get through the song. God is so good-a truth that I hope my children will always cling to, no matter what their struggles are in life, this is a truth that I hope sinks deep down inside of them and that they will always believe.
For those of you who are wondering, things are going amazingly well. Marc and I are simply amazed at how well our children have transitioned and are adjusting to life with us. Sure, we have some difficult moments here and there, but overall we could not ask for things to be going any better. The kids are playing hard, sleeping plenty, eating well, cuddling lots, learning new things and smiling and laughing constantly. They are loving all their new toys-baby dolls and cars, Duplos and dishes, crayons and stickers, and their rooms. I will have to post finished pictures of their rooms at some point, it has been fun watching them explore!
My Christmas tree is most certainly NOT taken down, nor are any of my other Christmas decorations. It is still very much Christmas around here, most especially in my heart. I don't ever want this season to end, the awe and wonder I feel just sitting here looking at my tree with the toy nativity set under it. My children are home. My eyes are full of tears. I have waited a long time for this Christmas, for these moments of being a mom, and I am going to keep soaking it all in, even if my tree is still up come February!
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| The view from where I sit. |
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| A few of the children's Christmas books that I love! |
Together, together at last. For those of you who are still waiting, hang in there and hold on to hope. The dream of having children really can and does come true.
Yesterday, while I was cleaning up the kitchen, I heard a soft song coming from the other room, my dear son was singing God is So Good, with his own sweet pronunciations of the words. God is so good. The first time I sung this to them, I couldn't get through the song. God is so good-a truth that I hope my children will always cling to, no matter what their struggles are in life, this is a truth that I hope sinks deep down inside of them and that they will always believe.
For those of you who are wondering, things are going amazingly well. Marc and I are simply amazed at how well our children have transitioned and are adjusting to life with us. Sure, we have some difficult moments here and there, but overall we could not ask for things to be going any better. The kids are playing hard, sleeping plenty, eating well, cuddling lots, learning new things and smiling and laughing constantly. They are loving all their new toys-baby dolls and cars, Duplos and dishes, crayons and stickers, and their rooms. I will have to post finished pictures of their rooms at some point, it has been fun watching them explore!
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