The Cross is Enough

I am ashamed to admit that I have, at times, questioned God and even had moments of doubting His love for me.  Crazy I know, but sadly, its true.  Sometimes I get so focused on myself that I fail to see the big picture.  Sometimes I have such a myopic view, that all I can see is what is right in front of me.  "Why me?" I have questioned Him.  "Why not me?", I have asked. 

If Jesus, never did anything else for me ever again, He has done enough.  He died for me. 

Did you read that?  He. Died. For. Me.

For doubting, ungrateful, worrisome, impatient me.  He died for me. Wow, talk about humbling.  Talk about love.  Jesus Christ paid the ultimate sacrifice, He was beaten and betrayed. He hung on a cross and allowed nails to be hammered into his hands and feet because He loves me.  He gave His life, His very life, because He loves me.

Did you read that?  He. Loves. Me. 

The cross is enough, its enough.  If God never saw fit to give me anything else in my life, He gave me Jesus.  He provided a way so that I could have a relationship with Him, so I could have the hope of Heaven and eternity with Him. 

This Easter, I have stood in wonder, soaking it in, the depths of His love for me.  Oh how I long to stay focused on all that He has done, instead of on what He has not yet done.  He has a plan, always a plan.  His ways are perfect and He has redemption in mind.

If you are reading this blog and you have never experienced the wonder of the cross, if you have never experienced His personal love for you, what are you waiting for?  Jesus' death on the cross makes such a difference, no, it makes all the difference in my life and it can in yours too. 

John 3:16-18 is a great place to start reading if you want to learn about the cross.

Thank you Lord, for the cross, it is enough.

Thai Tuesday-Surf and Turf

Today was Tuesday, Thai Tuesday, if you read my last post!  We so enjoyed hearing from a few family members and friends who were eating Thai food and praying for us and our kids.  We cannot even begin to say what a blessing and encouragement it is to have others walk this road with us.

I wore my Thailand necklace today....somehow it always makes me feel a little closer to my kids.


We are praying for you dear country of Thailand!

We enjoyed a little of our own Thai food tonight! We made two of our favorite recipes and I thought I would share them on here in case anyone is interested in trying them out.

I found some steak and salmon marked down at the grocery store over the weekend and that was the inspiration for our meal.  The only other ingredients I had to buy that I didn't have on hand were Asian shallots and limes.  These are both pretty simple dishes and great summertime ones as you cook the meat of the grill. (Bless my dear husband for cooking in the cold and rain tonight!)

Thai people love their sauces!  There is always at least fish sauce on the table when you eat a meal in Thailand and often a chili sauce of some sorts as well. What makes these two dishes so yummy are the sauces, a perfect combination of salty and sweet and salty and sour.

The first dish we made is called "Yam Neua Yang Nahm Toke" or "Sliced Steak with Hot and Sour Sauce" (from The Food of Thailand cookbook).

Here is what is needed:

12-16 ounces lean sirloin or fillet steak
2 tablespoons fish sauce (I promise it tastes good mixed in!)
4 tablespoons lime juice (fresh is best!)
1 teaspoon sugar
1/4 teaspoon chili powder
3-4 Asian shallots, finely sliced
a few lettuce leaves to serve (optional)

Heat the grill to medium.  Sprinkle salt and pepper on both sides of the meat.  Cook for 5 to 7 minutes on each side, turning occasionally. 
Once the meat is done, using a sharp knife, slice the cooked beef crossways into strips. 
Mix the fish sauce, lime juice, sugar, and chili powder in a bowl.  Add the Asian shallots and the slices of beef.  Serve over jasmine rice. 

Sliced Steak with Hot and Sour Sauce

 Thai Glazed Fish (from America Grills Cookbook)

 

 2 fish steaks (swordfish, salmon, halibut, etc.)
Thai Glaze:
1/2 cup honey
2 tablespoons soy sauce
1 tablespoon fresh ginger grated or 1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
1 teaspoon lime peel, grated
1 teaspoon garlic, minced
Red pepper flakes (optional)
Juice from one lime

Mix first six glaze ingredients in a bowl. Preheat grill to medium high.  Lightly spray fish steaks with canola oil, and place on hot grates.  Sear for about 2 to 3 minutes or until sear marks appear.  Flip over to a clean section of the grates to sear the other side, about 2 to 3 minutes. 
When both sides are seared but fish is not quite cooked through, remove it to a tray away from heat, and brush on the glaze.  Turn, and repeat on other side of fish.  Fish is done when center is opaque and approximately 145 degrees.  Place fish steaks on platter, and sprinkle with lime juice.

 

Thai Glazed Salmon

 As I mentioned, my husband is the grill master, he also humored me by taking the pictures of our dinner!


Gin Khaw Aroy!

 We actually found out on Friday that the Thai Adoption Board is not meeting this week because of the Thai holiday.  It is the Thai New Year, also known as Songkran, right now. So, while there is no meeting this week, we appreciate all the prayers for our kids and the board, because the prayers are needed, whether it is a meeting week or not.  They will be meeting next Wednesday morning, Tuesday night our time. 

Anyone else what to join in on Thai Tuesdays?  If you are not feeling adventurous with your cooking, maybe you can find a Thai restaurant nearby!  And whether you eat Thai food or not, would you please consider praying with us every other Tuesday evening when the Thai Adoption Board meets? 

 

Questions

On almost a daily basis, I am asked at least one of these questions, "When are you going to go get your kids?", "What are the next steps?", Why is it taking so long?" "Do you know anything new about your kids?"

So for those of you who have had these same questions, let me try to answer them.

Question: When are you going to go get your kids?

As soon as we are told we can!!  If we could get on a plane tomorrow, we would.  In all reality, it will probably be late fall before we can travel to Thailand to bring our kids home. 

Question: What are the next steps? 

The next step for our adoption is called First Approval. We were matched with our children by our U.S. agency, Holt International.  We are now waiting on the Thai Adoption Board to officially approve that match.  All of our paperwork is done, it has been done since late 2012, but there are many cases ahead of ours, and so we wait. 

Once we receive First Approval, we will receive some important documents that we need to file with the United States Citizen and Immigration Services (USCIS) office so we can get permission for our children to become U.S. Citizens.  Once we get that approval (called the I-800 approval) we will be able to travel to Thailand.

Question: Why is it taking so long?

If only I really knew!  One reason is that the Thai adoption board only meets two days every month and there are many things that they have to do when they meet.  Another reason is that, since this past fall, there has been a lot of political unrest in Thailand that has slowed a lot of government work down.

Question:  Do you know anything new about your kids?

No! The last report we received on our children was in December.  We only get updates on them every four months and the updates really tell us very little.  We know that they are together in foster care, and we are told they are happy, otherwise we don't really know a whole lot. We should get a new update in the next few weeks, and we will definitely share what we can from the update.

I am so thankful that others are interested in our adoption.  I hope that people always feel free to ask questions, it shows that they care. Probably the best question I have been asked though, is a pretty simple one... 

Question: How are you doing? or How are you doing with the wait?

The Answer:  Some days I am doing just fine.  I am able to focus my eyes on Jesus and feel so very blessed by so many people and things in my life.  I know that it is just a matter of time and our children will be home with us.

Other days, I am not so fine.  Other days, I get down, I look around me and see people with their children and long for that to be me.  Some days I feel like it is never going to happen, and I am tired of waiting. 

This "How are you doing with the wait?" question is definitely the most helpful one.  It gives me a chance to share where I am at, whether it is an easy day of waiting or a hard one.

Thanks for reading along, asking questions, and being interested in our journey....our journey to get Beyond the Wait!

Thai Tuesday

Today is Tuesday! And what my husband and I are declaring "Thai Tuesday". 

What does this mean, you ask?   Let me try to explain.

First of all, note that Thailand is 11 hours ahead of Eastern Standard Time, so when it is Tuesday night in Virginia, it is Wednesday morning in Thailand.

Every other Wednesday morning in Thailand the Thai Adoption Board meets.  The Thai Adoption Board is who we are waiting on to officially approve our children being matched with us.  Once they officially approve our match, called First Approval, we will be two-three months away from traveling to bring our children home. 

The Thai Adoption Board has a lot of things to accomplish at these meetings, one of which is to grant First Approvals.  There are many families who have been matched with children who are waiting on First Approval. A year ago, most families got First Approval about six months after they were matched.  Now, it seems to be taking a year or more for families to get First Approval.  It has been eight months since we were matched with our children and began waiting on First Approval. Eight. Long. Months.

There is not much we can do while we wait for First Approval, so we have decided that every other week, when the Board meets, we are going to eat Thai food for dinner (Yum!) and pray for the Board.  We pray for them other times too (and eat Thai food other times as well!), but Tuesday nights we make sure to spend extra time in prayer for this group of Board Members. 

Tonight we ate Khow Soi, a Chicken Curry Soup with Thai Egg noodles, for dinner.  We are praying that today in Thailand, the Thai Adoption Board will grant many First Approvals, that God would give them great speed as they go through files, that they would sense an urgency to get children with their families, and that they would even decide to have an extra meeting or two in the months to come. 

Khow Soi (Pronounced-"Cow Soy")

Please pray with us (and eat Thai food too if you can!).  You can help us bring our kids home!  Prayer makes a difference!

Care Packages

As I mentioned in my last post we get to send care packages to our kids every three months.  We put a lot of thought into these little packages as they are the only connection we have with our children at this point.  Our agency has some pretty strict guidelines, the packages are to be flat, weigh no more than a pound and must fit in a gallon size Ziploc bag. Meeting these guidelines is a challenge!

We sent our first care package back in July when we officially "accepted" our kids. We sent them small photo albums with pictures introducing ourselves and our families.  We also sent them letters telling them about ourselves and how excited we are to meet them...and we signed them "mom" and "dad"!  We sent them blankets and we sent our little girl a small doll and our little boy a small airplane.  We also sent a disposable camera in hopes that their foster mom will take some pictures of them and give the camera back to us when we travel over!


We hope that these blankets will be good transitional objects that they
can get attached to and then bring with them when they begin life with us.

Marc and I had so much fun making Build-A-Bears for our kids' second packages, which we sent in late October.  We recorded a little message in Thai and in English in each of them, that we hope will help them start to get use to our voices.
 

Marc giving the bear some clothes!

Here's a picture before they were crammed into their bags!

We just sent our third package last week.  Since our last package didn't exactly meet the guidelines, we tried extra hard not to send too much this time.  I picked out these toys for them while I was out Christmas shopping.  

I can just picture our little boy pushing these cars around in the dirt!

And our little girl carrying this purse around! 

 All ready to go!

 Sent with much love to our precious little ones!



Six Months

January 25, 2014, today marks six months.  Six months since we saw the faces of our precious children for the first time.  Six months since we fell in love and first learned that we are going to have a son AND a daughter.

In some ways I can't believe its been that long and in other ways, it feels like its been a year.  Some days it feels like the time will never come to go get them and other days it feels like it will be here before we know it.

Not a day goes by that I don't think about and pray for them.  Precious children, how I long to hold them, to cuddle them, read to them, hear them laugh, chase them around the yard, and most of all, just to have them near and have them know how deeply they are loved.  Its a crazy thing really, how you can love two little people who you have never met so very much.

Lord willing, in about another six months we will be on our way to bring them home.  We are praying for things to happen quicker than that, but are told to expect it to be at least that much longer.

In the meantime, we get updates and new pictures of them every four months and every three months we can send them each a small care package.  Its nice to be able to have even this small connection with them. Six months down, hopefully not that many more to go!

Purpose

If you could read the pages of my journal from the days and years gone by, you would see some prayers written out over and over again.  You would hear my heart crying out for faith, for strength to trust God's plan, for the ability to keep my eyes on Jesus.  You would see a lot of reflection as I have pondered questions like, "What am I really here for?", "What is my purpose?" "What do I do with these desires?"  "What is God's will?".

As I have grappled with these and other questions like them, I always come back to one main answer:

I am here to glorify God (Isaiah 43:7, 1 Corinthians 10:31, and many others).  This is my purpose and the gauge through which all my desires and plans must be measured.   I am here to know Him, be known by Him, and make Him known.  In so doing, He is glorified. 

Understanding this and continually coming back to this has helped me in so many life journeys.

The journey through singleness.  Marriage is very glorified, especially in Christian circles.  Throughout my twenties, I had to ask myself, "Was I put here on this earth to get married?  Is that my purpose?  I don't think so.  Did God create marriage?  Yes.  Did he say that marriage is good?  Yes. Did he say that is His sole purpose for my life?  No.  Can God be glorified in marriage?  Yes.  Can be glorified in singleness?  Yes. 

What if?  What if God wanted me to be single and use my singleness to glorify Him?

The journey through infertility.  Having children is very glorified, especially in Christian circles.  "Children are a blessing from the Lord."  Indeed, but was I put here on earth to have children?  Is that my purpose?  I don't think so.  Did God say that having children is good and children are a blessing?  Yes.  Did he say that is the sole purpose for my life?  No.  Can God be glorified in family's lives that have children?  Absolutely.  Can God be glorified in my childlessness?  I sure hope so. 

I believe it was John Piper who said, "God is most glorified in me, when I am most satisfied in Him."  Over the years, I have had to ask myself so many times, what is it I am living for?  Marriage?  Children? If my sole purpose in life is to glorify God, then I will be able to say with the apostle Paul, I have learned to be content in all circumstances. 

This week I have been reading through one of my favorite books of the Bible, Philippians.  Paul says, "Whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ.  What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord...I want to know Christ, yes, to know the power of his resurrection and the participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death."  Sometimes, often times, it is through the losses in life that we experience the greatest gain...the gain of knowing Christ. 

May He be glorified in you and I wherever we find ourselves today....in singleness, in marriage, in childlessness, or with a house full of children.  He asks one thing of all of us, that we glorify him in whatever we do, this is our purpose.