Nesting

Still no passports.  That's okay though because we are still on track to travel by the end of the year.  This week I am doing a much better job of not thinking that every email I receive might be from my adoption agency telling me that my kids have passports.  Part of the reason for that.....I am busy nesting!!!  My children are coming home and I have lots to do to get ready for them. 

The upstairs of my house is torn apart and almost nothing is in its rightful place!  The dear hubby and I are painting the kid's bedrooms, refinishing furniture, (If you have never tried chalk paint, I highly recommend it!), putting in ceiling fans, and doing lots or organizing.

Here is a before and after look at one of my projects.  This delightful dresser was purchased off of Craigslist for $25.00 and was my dresser for the past five years.  Not sure why I didn't paint this thing sooner!  Now it is ready for our little girl and is filled with adorable little girl's clothes!

Before

 

 A work in progress!



After! 

Secondly, though this may not be traditional nesting, it is part of my preparation.  My kids each weigh around 30 pounds, give or take five pounds.  You know how new moms and dads carry around newborns, how they hold them and affectionately keep them close?  Well, that's what I want to do with my kids.  The only problem is that they are not a little seven or eight pound buddle...and there are two of them! So, what are we doing to prepare?  Well today, we started back into an intense Jillian Michael's workout DVD in an effort to build some strength into these bodies of ours.  I know, I know, I should have started this months ago, but better late than never, right?!  And please don't tell me they are old enough to walk.  I will carry them around as long as they (and my arms) will let me!  Its good for attachment.

Today, is Thai Tuesday, and as I type, the adoption board is meeting in Bangkok.  Though I am no longer praying for our case to receive first approval, I am still praying for this meeting.  I have been blessed to get to know many other families on a similar journey to adopt from Thailand and some of them are still waiting for their first approval, and so tonight I am praying for them and that their cases would receive approval soon so that they can travel to bring their children home. 

And yes, we do still eat Thai food on Tuesdays! 

Penang Curry! A new recipe from one of Marc's cousins, who grew up in Thailand.

A Shower Invitation

Today, a dear friend of mine handed me a shower invitation.  I have been given lots of shower invitations over the years, but this invitation was different.  This invitation was for MY shower.  I got choked up just looking at.  I am going to have a shower, people are going to give me presents for my children.  I have children. 

As my eyes fill with tears, all I can think is, God is so faithful.  Even when we don't see Him working, He is.  He is working for our good and His glory.  If I could have had it my way, I would already have a couple of children running around my house.  I would have already had a baby shower or two to celebrate the children I was expecting.  But God. God in His infinite wisdom knew that I needed these two children on the other side of the world.  And He knew that they needed me. Its kind of crazy to sit back and think on the journey God has had me on, so very different then the journey I would have originally chosen, but now?  I wouldn't have it any other way.  I am so thankful that this is exactly where God has me, that I haven't had baby showers and that my bedrooms are not yet filled with children, because then we wouldn't be adopting our two precious children.

Infertility and the ache to be a mom have been heavy burdens to bear at times.  But God.  God is so gracious and, when I have let Him, He has carried these burdens for me.  He has walked with me through some hard times, comforted me when I have cried, healed my broken heart, and given me hope.

And now, He is giving me children.  Two precious children that I have yet to meet, but will get to meet so very soon!

Things are still moving forward and it looks like we are still on track to travel this year!! We received approval from immigration for our kids to become US citizens and we have uploaded all their information to the embassy in Bangkok.  Just a couple more little steps and we should be given dates for when we can travel to Thailand. Our kids need to get their passports, hopefully that will happen this week.  Once they have their passports, we have to file some paperwork for their visas and then we will get tentative travel dates.  There are two adoption board meetings in December.  One is on December 3rd and the other is on December 18th.  We hope to be at one of these....with our children!!

THE Thai Tuesday

If you have been following along on our adoption journey, you are well aware that we have been waiting for over a year now for something called first approval.  And you also know that we had hoped to have it by now.

I have been in touch with our adoption agency over the last week or so as they tried to figure out if we would be presented at the meeting taking place this week in Bangkok.  So, when I picked up my phone on Tuesday and saw that I had missed a phone call from our adoption agency, I just figured it was an update about whether we would be presented or not.  I finally connected with the director of the program on my way home from work and got some long expected, yet totally, unexpected news.

Tuesday was THE Thai Tuesday!! We got first approval!!  And while this was the Thai Tuesday we found out, we actually got approval a couple of weeks ago!  We can hardly believe it!!  After so long and too many days of wondering if it was ever going to happen, it HAS happened!! 

We got FIRST APPROVAL!!! 

What's next you wonder?

Article 16.  We need this piece of paper, which is a summary of how our children came to be placed for adoption, along with some of our kids' legal documents so we can file them with USCIS (United States Citizenship and Immigration Services).  This next step usually takes anywhere from 2-8 weeks.

Guess what?

Our article 16 and other needed documents came in the mail YESTERDAY!  And after frantically completing a TON of paperwork over the last couple of days, everything was sent back out today via Fed Ex to US immigration! 

Lots more little steps have to be completed over the next few months, but the end is in sight!!  And there is a very good chance that we will travel before Christmas!  Christmas!  We might be with our children before Christmas! I don't think there could be a better Christmas present than having my children in my arms.

Where Joy Comes From

I hate when I feel like my happiness is dependent on my circumstances.  When I let my happiness be determined by my circumstances.  These last couple of weeks have been long and I have really had to lean in heavily on the Lord.  Part of the whole point of this journey of life, right?  Most people who have been through difficult times will tell you that nothing makes you depend on the Lord and grow in your walk with Him like the hard times.  Most of us wouldn't choose the hard times, but God, in His love and mercy, uses the hard times to grow us closer to Him and to make us more dependent on Him.  I am so thankful that while my happiness can be easily affected, I have a deeper kind of happiness that remains, its called joy.  My happiness may ebb and flow, but joy is a constant, it stems from a deep sense of knowing that everything is going to be okay, that Someone is in control.

Sarah Young, in her devotional Jesus Calling, says, "Knowing [God] intimately is like having a private wellspring of joy within you. The spring flows freely from [God's] throne of grace, so your joy is independent of circumstances. Waiting on [God's] presence keeps you connected to [Him], aware of all that [He] offers you. If you feel any deficiency, you need to refocus your attention on [God]. This is how you trust [God] in the moments of your life."

Psalm 37:7 says, "Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him." Easier said than done sometimes. Be still before the Lord. And wait patiently for Him. In our society, we are all about making things happen.  Being still? This takes some serious discipline. 

Today, I want to find joy in Him. Regardless of my circumstances.  Regardless of whether my children are with me or not. Regardless of whether the adoption board grants us approval this week or not.  The joy of the LORD will be my strength.  I will keep fighting to keep my eyes on Him, to keep trusting, to stay closely connected to my wellspring of joy. I will be still in His presence.

Tuesday was indeed another Thai Tuesday around here.  We made "laap", or minced chicken salad, something we recently learned to make at a local Thai restaurant where we got to take a cooking class.  We are so grateful to have Thai people in our community who are willing to teach us and share their wonderful culture with us. 

THIS could have been the Thai Tuesday.....but I am trying not to focus so much on that and am instead trying to be still in a different way.  I am not sure that I can handle the disappointment if we do not get approval again, so I am trying not to get my hopes set on that, but rather to focus on being still in God's presence.  Because in God's presence and with Him, anything is possible, and most especially joy.

 

Forgotten?

Have you ever felt forgotten?  Passed by.  Overlooked. 

Me too.

This is different than being jealous, at least I think it is. It feels different.  When you feel forgotten you can still feel genuinely happy for those who don't appear to be forgotten.

Feeling forgotten doesn't mean that you are, its just how you feel.

God made me a feeling being, He gave me this heart that feels things deeply.  There have been times in my life when I wish that I didn't feel things so deeply, it hurts too much sometimes.  And yet, I know there is a reason that He made me this way.  I can't ignore how I feel, so I choose to explore these feelings, to sort them out and to fill in facts to go along with these feelings.

I am going to be really real with you for a few minutes.

My heart is aching, literally, physically aching for my children to be home with me.  This might be hard to understand, okay it is, right?  I have never met these children, never talked to them, they are not really mine and yet my heart tells me they are.  Imagine for a minute being separated from your kids for a year, having no control over their lives, who is interacting with them, who is teaching them, what they are eating or what kind of medical and dental care they are getting.  Its hard friends. 

Now don't get me wrong, our agency has a wonderful foundation set up in Thailand to care for children like our two little ones, but its a foundation, they are with a foster parent instead of their forever family.  My heart longs to be close to them, to wrap my arms around them and speak to them of Jesus' love.  I long for them to know that we are committed to them, today, tomorrow, and always, no matter what is ahead. They are our kids and we love them, so very deeply we love them.

There is one, seemingly simple, next step that we are waiting for, its called first approval.  We need, our children need, for the Thai adoption board to review our case and say yes, yes, you can adopt these kids.  Unofficially, we have already been told that, but we need to hear that officially. 

This week in Thailand there was another board meeting.  Six families got first approval.  Six families.  This is amazing.  There has been so little movement all year and over the last month there have been close to 15 approvals.  I am genuinely happy for each family that has gotten first approval, but I am also sad because we have not been one of them and according to how long we have been waiting and what we have been told, we should have been.

God has a perfect plan.  I know that.  He is good and He is trustworthy.  I know that things happen in His time, not mine.  This is a lesson that I am continually learning. I know that God hasn't forgotten me and I trust Him.  I choose to trust Him even when it hurts, even when it feels like I've been forgotten.  I choose to rest in these facts, He sees me, He sees my children, and He has a perfect plan.

If you feel forgotten today, wherever you are and whatever is going on in your life, know you are not alone.  And, know that you are not, you are not forgotten.  He loves you.  He sees you.  Even when you don't feel this, rest in this fact.  Even when I don't feel this, I will rest in this fact and know, I am not forgotten.

I painted this canvas a couple of years ago.  Last night, I saw it through my tears sitting on a shelf in my bathroom. 
God's Word spoken to me. This is what I choose to do today, with all my heart, I choose to trust in the LORD. 

Pad Thai Recipe

Here is my Pad Thai recipe for those who are interested.  This is actually not originally my recipe.  A dear friend, Pim, taught me how to make this when I was living in Thailand.  She was such a good cook!

This dish is pretty simple and you can buy most of the ingredients at a grocery store.  The rice noodles, oyster sauce, and bean sprouts are easiest to find at an Asian grocery store.

Pad Thai

1 pound of chicken or 1 block firm tofu (yellow on the outside)

½ c. green onions (chives)

4 cloves garlic or 3 T. minced garlic

2 T. oil

3 eggs (beaten)

Rice noodles (8 ounces)

1/3 c. oyster sauce

1/3 c. vinegar

1/3 c. sugar

½ c. chopped peanuts

1 c. bean sprouts

Limes

Directions: 

Cut chicken or tofu into small cubes. Cut green onions (chives) into 1 inch pieces. Chop garlic.

Mix oyster sauce, vinegar, and sugar together in a small bowl.  Set aside.

Put oil in wok. Sauté 2 tablespoons of the garlic. Add chicken and cook until done or tofu until hard. Remove tofu or chicken from wok, but leave the oil.

Cook noodles in boiling water for about 5 minutes depending on how soft you want them.

Sauté remaining tablespoon of garlic in oil. Cook in 3 eggs.

In wok, stir in cooked noodles, sauce mixture, peanuts, tofu or chicken, bean sprouts, and chives. Cook 3-4 minutes.

Serve with fresh bean sprouts, lime juice, more crushed peanuts, and crushed red pepper. Yum!

 

Could this be THE Thai Tuesday?

This could be the meeting.  If not this week, then the next meeting will most likely be the meeting. The meeting where the Thai Adoption Board will officially approve us to adopt our kids.  We have been waiting over a year for this approval and we are so very close to receiving it. First approval they call it.  As I have explained before on this blog, once we get this approval there will be another round of paperwork, another immigration approval and then we will get travel dates!

We are getting close!!

Tonight I made Pad Thai, one of our favorites.

I started with this:

 

And ended with this:

This Thai Tuesday we are praying that the board would review our case and give it the approval it needs so that we can travel to Thailand and bring our children home.  Will you pray with us?