This is Our God

I heard a song recently that I am loving right now.  It is a song by a long time favorite artist of mine, Chris Tomlin.

There are so many things that go on in our world that are hard to understand.  Sometimes people struggle to believe in God because of all the pain and sadness, all the disease and sickness.  If God is good, then "why?" many ask.

The way I look at it though, those things are not because of God, they are because of sin, because of man's poor choices.  Now, don't get me wrong, I am not saying that if you are suffering it is because you sinned, but its because of sin in general and the fallen world we live in.

God created a perfect world.  He did not desire suffering or pain or heartache, but He gave man a free will and man choose to mess up the perfection He created. Where is God in the midst of the suffering and the pain?  He is there.  He is....

A refuge for the poor

A shelter for the storm

This is our God

And He will wipe away your tears 

And return your wasted years

This is our God

A Father to the orphan 

A healer to the broken

This is our God

And He brings peace to our madness

And comfort in our sadness

This is our God

I cannot help but wonder if someday my kids are going to ask why, why did God not work it out so their birth parents could raise them?  Why did they have to experience loss in their lives?  They may wonder where God was.  I would love to have this conversation with them because I so want them to know that God was there all along, He was and is a Father to them, He is their healer, their peace, their comfort, their refuge, their shelter.  He never wanted them to suffer or be alone and so He helped their birth mom find the help she needed, He brought comfort and peace.  He has been their shelter and refuge.  This, this is our God.

Pad Thai

Sure have been thinking a lot about and missing our kids lately.  How its possible to miss someone so much who you have never met, I don't know, but I do.  Its only been two and a half months since we found out about them, but it has been years we have been praying for them.  This week we have been praying even more as there is flooding in Thailand right now, specifically in and around the province where they live.  Flooding is a pretty common thing there, but so very sad.  Two years ago when it flooded over 800 people lost their lives.  Over 30 have already died in this flood.  I take great comfort in knowing that God sees them and knows them and loves them even more than I do.

On a happier note, I had a birthday last week and my dear husband gave me this....

I have been eyeing this necklace for awhile and am so enjoying having it to wear!

Tonight, perhaps because of my missing Thailand and our kids mood and perhaps just because I love Thai food, we made Pad Thai. 

 

This is one of the most common Thai dishes, its considered street food in Thailand and you can buy it at a stand on the side of the road for 20 or 30 baht, less than a dollar, and its yummy! 

 

Oh, and we made "cha yen" as well, or cold Thai tea, another of our favorites!  

 

If you haven't tried Thai food, you are missing out!!

Born out of Loss

Adoption is a word that is very near and dear to my heart.  It has been for a long time now. It means birth parents have the opportunity to give life and love to a child.  It means a child gets a family and a family gets a child.  I love adoption.  I love so many things about it.  The joy, the anticipation, the hope, the idea of family, the way it brings people together (and not just child and parents), the miracle of each life, the journey, the healing, the love.

Why do I love adoption?  It’s sometimes hard to explain, but I will try.  You see I was adopted; I wouldn’t be who I am without my Father.  God took me in and made me His own.  He loves me, protects me, provides for me, sings over me, and delights in me.  Where would I be without adoption?  I have also seen firsthand time and time again, what an amazing blessing adoption is; it is a blessing for the birth family, for the child, and for the adoptive family.  A decision made in love for one that is loved, is most often the case, a decision made out of necessity and pure desire for a child to have everything he or she needs.  A decision sometimes made in desperation or for lack of a better option. 

Adoption though, as amazing and wonderful as it is, is difficult too.  Adoption is born out of loss.  Loss for the birth family, loss for the child, and loss for the adoptive parents.  Many don’t want to acknowledge this loss; they don’t want to admit that there is any grief or pain associated with adoption.  I know for a long time I didn’t. 

You see, I have known for as long as I can remember that someday I would adopt, someday, I would travel to the other side of the world and bring a precious child (or two!) into my family.  I would be gaining a child, they would be gaining a mom and dad.  There is so much to be gained through adoption that often we stop there. Don’t stop there friends, I challenge you to explore the losses, so that you can truly celebrate the gains.

For my husband and I, when we adopt, we will have lost a biological connection to our children (and this is true whether a family goes through infertility or not).   For our precious children they will have lost their first parents or birth parents and foster parents as well.  They have lost a biological connection to their family. And in our case, they will lose the opportunity to grow up in their country of birth.  For the first parents, they have lost the opportunity to raise their children, to get to be mom and dad, to be there every day.  Adoption is hard people, so very beautiful, but also hard.

Along these same lines, I came across this post today from Together for Adoption that some of you might enjoy reading.

He WILL Provide

"We have something for you" some friends at church told us.  We kept missing each other and it wasn't until a few weeks later that we finally caught up with one another.  We were excited to share the news that we had gotten just days before, that we would be adopting TWO kids.

This dear couple handed us an envelope and said, "This is what we have been trying to get to you the past few weeks". We thanked them, and I stuck it in my purse to open later.  We spent some time showing them pictures of our little boy and little girl, and then we said goodbye and headed home. 

When we got in the car, I opened the envelope to find a very sweet note saying how they want to be a part of caring for the fatherless and how God had very specifically laid it on their hearts to give us this gift to help us bring our children home....$1,000.

Inside this little envelope was $1,000!

We were (and are!) overwhelmed by this family's generosity, but we are even more overwhelmed that God not only knows our need, but He knew it before we did.  He laid it on the hearts of this couple weeks before we would find out that we would be adopting two children and have two adoption fees to pay. He knew that we would need this reminder that He already has a plan and that He is going to provide. 

What an amazing journey this is, especially amazing because we get to see Him working out so many details and reminding us so many times that He knows us better than we know ourselves and that He not only loves us, but He loves our children.  He desires to "set the lonely in families" (Psalm 68:6) and He will work however He needs to to accomplish this. 

If you think of it please pray with us for the rest of the funds to come in.  We have applied for a few different adoption grants-Lifesong for Orphans, Show Hope, and The JSC Foundation.  We can't wait to have more "God stories" to tell you!

The Weekend!

What a relaxing and fun weekend!  Marc and I started Saturday morning with some yard sales.  I must say that I do love a good bargain.  Those that know me well, know that I like to keep my shelves stocked with free or very cheap toothpaste, floss, toothbrushes, soap, etc.  So, quality clothes for 50 cents or a dollar and I'm in, even if it means getting up at six on a Saturday!


Stuff for the kids-$10



Stuff for me-$13

The best part about the yard sales? My dear husband came with me!  Sure do love that man! We had a great time finding stuff for the kids! The kids?! Our kids!  We have kids! 

Then Marc made us breakfast that we enjoyed outside on the patio.

 

Here's our little puppy, who is getting to be not so little!  She loved the morning outside too!

Failed to take any more pictures over the weekend, but we enjoyed the evening with some friends having dinner at a local Thai restaurant where I met the sweetest waitress and found out the owners have a little girl who is just 5 days younger than our little girl!  We will definitely be eating here more often and would love for our kids to have Thai friends here in our community.

 

Today, we enjoyed the morning at church worshipping and learning from the Word.  We sang this song that is so very true.

 

You are Good

 

Your kindness leads me to repentance

Your goodness draws me to Your side
Your mercy calls me to be like You
Your favor is my delight
Every day, I'll awaken my praise
And pour out a song from my heart

You are good, You are good
You are good, and Your mercy is forever
You are good, You are good
You are good, and Your mercy is forever
You are good, and Your mercy is forever

 

No matter what the day holds, He is good.  Some days it doesn't feel like He is, but I am learning to rest in this fact, that He is good, His character is good.  That doesn't mean everything that happens in life is good, but He is.

Still in Awe

Well, the excitement has not died down here!  We are still super excited to know that we are going to have a son and a daughter and are still letting it sink in! For months, years really, we have wondered whether our first child would be a boy or a girl, its kind of crazy to think that its not boy or girl, but boy AND girl!  Still in awe of God's goodness in blessing us with these two children. 

Please know though that it the midst of our excitement we are very aware of the loss that is involved in all of this too.  We are very aware that us being able to adopt these two precious children means that their birth parents are not going to be raising them and there is a whole lot of loss that comes with that.   I actually have a whole post I wrote about that that I will share with you soon.

In the meantime, I thought I would let you know what we have been up to.  Adoption grant applications, lots of them! Marc and I have been carefully saving and planning so that we could afford to adopt and we had the money to pay for everything.  Until, well yes, a boy AND a girl does mean that we will need to pay our placement fee twice.  And no amount of planning or saving on our part is going to make that much money appear as fast as we need it.  Its like God has been saying, "don't rob me of the chance to show you and everyone who knows you that I am the Great Provider. I want to show My glory in how I am going to provide all that you need to bring these children home."  And so, just like that we are reminded once again that we can't do this alone.  And do you know what?  We are glad, even excited.  We know that when we come to the end of ourselves is often when God can show up best.  So, we are excited to see how He is going to provide.

And in fact, He has already started providing the extra money.  I already have a really cool God story to tell you, so stay tuned!

Did I Say Boy OR Girl?

So about that phone call….it was a Thursday afternoon, I actually had the day off work because I was going to be working over the weekend.  I had this feeling of excitement all morning, though I wasn’t sure why. I was outside working in the yard and when I came back in I saw I had missed a call from our adoption agency.  Immediately, I knew in my heart that this was “the call”. I called Holt (our agency) back and left a message saying I would keep my phone with me and to call whenever.  I called Marc to see if he could come home from work early, which he did.  Then around 5:00 p.m. we received the phone call that would change the rest of our lives.

The director of the Thailand program said she wanted to ask us about a little three-year-old boy AND a little two-year-old girl, a brother and sister.  She went on to explain some about their situation and Marc and I just looked at each other, smiling, with our mouths wide open, trying to take it all in.  Did we want to review their files and consider adopting them she asked.  “Yes, definitely yes”, was our immediate answer. 

We knew even before we saw their pictures or had read their files that these were our children.  I can’t really explain it, but we just knew.  We checked our email half a dozen times over the next hour or so waiting for the email with their pictures and information. 

Then, around 6:30 p.m. we saw their beautiful faces for the first time.  Precious, precious children.  Soon to be our children.  Wow.  We were open to a sibling group, but were told they rarely get sibling group referrals from Thailand and not to expect a sibling group, so we weren’t! 

The verse that has been running through my head as I process all of this is Ephesians 3:20. "Now to Him that is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we could ask or think….to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever." 

We are going to be parents to TWO precious children!  We stand in awe, complete awe, of God for giving us this opportunity.