On almost a daily basis, I am asked at least one of these questions, "When are you going to go get your kids?", "What are the next steps?", Why is it taking so long?" "Do you know anything new about your kids?"
So for those of you who have had these same questions, let me try to answer them.
Question: When are you going to go get your kids?
As soon as we are told we can!! If we could get on a plane tomorrow, we would. In all reality, it will probably be late fall before we can travel to Thailand to bring our kids home.
Question: What are the next steps?
The next step for our adoption is called First Approval. We were matched with our children by our U.S. agency, Holt International. We are now waiting on the Thai Adoption Board to officially approve that match. All of our paperwork is done, it has been done since late 2012, but there are many cases ahead of ours, and so we wait.
Once we receive First Approval, we will receive some important documents that we need to file with the United States Citizen and Immigration Services (USCIS) office so we can get permission for our children to become U.S. Citizens. Once we get that approval (called the I-800 approval) we will be able to travel to Thailand.
Question: Why is it taking so long?
If only I really knew! One reason is that the Thai adoption board only meets two days every month and there are many things that they have to do when they meet. Another reason is that, since this past fall, there has been a lot of political unrest in Thailand that has slowed a lot of government work down.
Question: Do you know anything new about your kids?
No! The last report we received on our children was in December. We only get updates on them every four months and the updates really tell us very little. We know that they are together in foster care, and we are told they are happy, otherwise we don't really know a whole lot. We should get a new update in the next few weeks, and we will definitely share what we can from the update.
I am so thankful that others are interested in our adoption. I hope that people always feel free to ask questions, it shows that they care. Probably the best question I have been asked though, is a pretty simple one...
Question: How are you doing? or How are you doing with the wait?
The Answer: Some days I am doing just fine. I am able to focus my eyes on Jesus and feel so very blessed by so many people and things in my life. I know that it is just a matter of time and our children will be home with us.
Other days, I am not so fine. Other days, I get down, I look around me and see people with their children and long for that to be me. Some days I feel like it is never going to happen, and I am tired of waiting.
This "How are you doing with the wait?" question is definitely the most helpful one. It gives me a chance to share where I am at, whether it is an easy day of waiting or a hard one.
Thanks for reading along, asking questions, and being interested in our journey....our journey to get Beyond the Wait!
Saturday, March 29, 2014
Tuesday, March 18, 2014
Thai Tuesday
Today is Tuesday! And what my husband and I are declaring "Thai Tuesday".
What does this mean, you ask? Let me try to explain.
First of all, note that Thailand is 11 hours ahead of Eastern Standard Time, so when it is Tuesday night in Virginia, it is Wednesday morning in Thailand.
Every other Wednesday morning in Thailand the Thai Adoption Board meets. The Thai Adoption Board is who we are waiting on to officially approve our children being matched with us. Once they officially approve our match, called First Approval, we will be two-three months away from traveling to bring our children home.
The Thai Adoption Board has a lot of things to accomplish at these meetings, one of which is to grant First Approvals. There are many families who have been matched with children who are waiting on First Approval. A year ago, most families got First Approval about six months after they were matched. Now, it seems to be taking a year or more for families to get First Approval. It has been eight months since we were matched with our children and began waiting on First Approval. Eight. Long. Months.
There is not much we can do while we wait for First Approval, so we have decided that every other week, when the Board meets, we are going to eat Thai food for dinner (Yum!) and pray for the Board. We pray for them other times too (and eat Thai food other times as well!), but Tuesday nights we make sure to spend extra time in prayer for this group of Board Members.
Tonight we ate Khow Soi, a Chicken Curry Soup with Thai Egg noodles, for dinner. We are praying that today in Thailand, the Thai Adoption Board will grant many First Approvals, that God would give them great speed as they go through files, that they would sense an urgency to get children with their families, and that they would even decide to have an extra meeting or two in the months to come.
Please pray with us (and eat Thai food too if you can!). You can help us bring our kids home! Prayer makes a difference!
What does this mean, you ask? Let me try to explain.
First of all, note that Thailand is 11 hours ahead of Eastern Standard Time, so when it is Tuesday night in Virginia, it is Wednesday morning in Thailand.
Every other Wednesday morning in Thailand the Thai Adoption Board meets. The Thai Adoption Board is who we are waiting on to officially approve our children being matched with us. Once they officially approve our match, called First Approval, we will be two-three months away from traveling to bring our children home.
The Thai Adoption Board has a lot of things to accomplish at these meetings, one of which is to grant First Approvals. There are many families who have been matched with children who are waiting on First Approval. A year ago, most families got First Approval about six months after they were matched. Now, it seems to be taking a year or more for families to get First Approval. It has been eight months since we were matched with our children and began waiting on First Approval. Eight. Long. Months.
There is not much we can do while we wait for First Approval, so we have decided that every other week, when the Board meets, we are going to eat Thai food for dinner (Yum!) and pray for the Board. We pray for them other times too (and eat Thai food other times as well!), but Tuesday nights we make sure to spend extra time in prayer for this group of Board Members.
Tonight we ate Khow Soi, a Chicken Curry Soup with Thai Egg noodles, for dinner. We are praying that today in Thailand, the Thai Adoption Board will grant many First Approvals, that God would give them great speed as they go through files, that they would sense an urgency to get children with their families, and that they would even decide to have an extra meeting or two in the months to come.
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| Khow Soi (Pronounced-"Cow Soy") |
Wednesday, February 5, 2014
Care Packages
As I mentioned in my last post we get to send care packages to our kids every three months. We put a lot of thought into these little packages as they are the only connection we have with our children at this point. Our agency has some pretty strict guidelines, the packages are to be flat, weigh no more than a pound and must fit in a gallon size Ziploc bag. Meeting these guidelines is a challenge!
We sent our first care package back in July when we officially "accepted" our kids. We sent them small photo albums with pictures introducing ourselves and our families. We also sent them letters telling them about ourselves and how excited we are to meet them...and we signed them "mom" and "dad"! We sent them blankets and we sent our little girl a small doll and our little boy a small airplane. We also sent a disposable camera in hopes that their foster mom will take some pictures of them and give the camera back to us when we travel over!
Marc and I had so much fun making Build-A-Bears for our kids' second packages, which we sent in late October. We recorded a little message in Thai and in English in each of them, that we hope will help them start to get use to our voices.
We sent our first care package back in July when we officially "accepted" our kids. We sent them small photo albums with pictures introducing ourselves and our families. We also sent them letters telling them about ourselves and how excited we are to meet them...and we signed them "mom" and "dad"! We sent them blankets and we sent our little girl a small doll and our little boy a small airplane. We also sent a disposable camera in hopes that their foster mom will take some pictures of them and give the camera back to us when we travel over!
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| We hope that these blankets will be good transitional objects that they can get attached to and then bring with them when they begin life with us. |
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| Marc giving the bear some clothes! |
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| Here's a picture before they were crammed into their bags! |
We just sent our third package last week. Since our last package didn't exactly meet the guidelines, we tried extra hard not to send too much this time. I picked out these toys for them while I was out Christmas shopping.
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I can just picture our little boy pushing these cars around in the dirt! |
All ready to go!
Sent with much love to our precious little ones!
Saturday, January 25, 2014
Six Months
January 25, 2014, today marks six months. Six months since we saw the faces of our precious children for the first time. Six months since we fell in love and first learned that we are going to have a son AND a daughter.
In some ways I can't believe its been that long and in other ways, it feels like its been a year. Some days it feels like the time will never come to go get them and other days it feels like it will be here before we know it.
Not a day goes by that I don't think about and pray for them. Precious children, how I long to hold them, to cuddle them, read to them, hear them laugh, chase them around the yard, and most of all, just to have them near and have them know how deeply they are loved. Its a crazy thing really, how you can love two little people who you have never met so very much.
Lord willing, in about another six months we will be on our way to bring them home. We are praying for things to happen quicker than that, but are told to expect it to be at least that much longer.
In the meantime, we get updates and new pictures of them every four months and every three months we can send them each a small care package. Its nice to be able to have even this small connection with them. Six months down, hopefully not that many more to go!
In some ways I can't believe its been that long and in other ways, it feels like its been a year. Some days it feels like the time will never come to go get them and other days it feels like it will be here before we know it.
Not a day goes by that I don't think about and pray for them. Precious children, how I long to hold them, to cuddle them, read to them, hear them laugh, chase them around the yard, and most of all, just to have them near and have them know how deeply they are loved. Its a crazy thing really, how you can love two little people who you have never met so very much.
Lord willing, in about another six months we will be on our way to bring them home. We are praying for things to happen quicker than that, but are told to expect it to be at least that much longer.
In the meantime, we get updates and new pictures of them every four months and every three months we can send them each a small care package. Its nice to be able to have even this small connection with them. Six months down, hopefully not that many more to go!
Tuesday, January 21, 2014
Purpose
If you could read the pages of my journal from the days and years gone by, you would see some prayers written out over and over again. You would hear my heart crying out for faith, for strength to trust God's plan, for the ability to keep my eyes on Jesus. You would see a lot of reflection as I have pondered questions like, "What am I really here for?", "What is my purpose?" "What do I do with these desires?" "What is God's will?".
As I have grappled with these and other questions like them, I always come back to one main answer:
I am here to glorify God (Isaiah 43:7, 1 Corinthians 10:31, and many others). This is my purpose and the gauge through which all my desires and plans must be measured. I am here to know Him, be known by Him, and make Him known. In so doing, He is glorified.
Understanding this and continually coming back to this has helped me in so many life journeys.
The journey through singleness. Marriage is very glorified, especially in Christian circles. Throughout my twenties, I had to ask myself, "Was I put here on this earth to get married? Is that my purpose? I don't think so. Did God create marriage? Yes. Did he say that marriage is good? Yes. Did he say that is His sole purpose for my life? No. Can God be glorified in marriage? Yes. Can be glorified in singleness? Yes.
What if? What if God wanted me to be single and use my singleness to glorify Him?
The journey through infertility. Having children is very glorified, especially in Christian circles. "Children are a blessing from the Lord." Indeed, but was I put here on earth to have children? Is that my purpose? I don't think so. Did God say that having children is good and children are a blessing? Yes. Did he say that is the sole purpose for my life? No. Can God be glorified in family's lives that have children? Absolutely. Can God be glorified in my childlessness? I sure hope so.
I believe it was John Piper who said, "God is most glorified in me, when I am most satisfied in Him." Over the years, I have had to ask myself so many times, what is it I am living for? Marriage? Children? If my sole purpose in life is to glorify God, then I will be able to say with the apostle Paul, I have learned to be content in all circumstances.
This week I have been reading through one of my favorite books of the Bible, Philippians. Paul says, "Whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord...I want to know Christ, yes, to know the power of his resurrection and the participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death." Sometimes, often times, it is through the losses in life that we experience the greatest gain...the gain of knowing Christ.
May He be glorified in you and I wherever we find ourselves today....in singleness, in marriage, in childlessness, or with a house full of children. He asks one thing of all of us, that we glorify him in whatever we do, this is our purpose.
As I have grappled with these and other questions like them, I always come back to one main answer:
I am here to glorify God (Isaiah 43:7, 1 Corinthians 10:31, and many others). This is my purpose and the gauge through which all my desires and plans must be measured. I am here to know Him, be known by Him, and make Him known. In so doing, He is glorified.
Understanding this and continually coming back to this has helped me in so many life journeys.
The journey through singleness. Marriage is very glorified, especially in Christian circles. Throughout my twenties, I had to ask myself, "Was I put here on this earth to get married? Is that my purpose? I don't think so. Did God create marriage? Yes. Did he say that marriage is good? Yes. Did he say that is His sole purpose for my life? No. Can God be glorified in marriage? Yes. Can be glorified in singleness? Yes.
What if? What if God wanted me to be single and use my singleness to glorify Him?
The journey through infertility. Having children is very glorified, especially in Christian circles. "Children are a blessing from the Lord." Indeed, but was I put here on earth to have children? Is that my purpose? I don't think so. Did God say that having children is good and children are a blessing? Yes. Did he say that is the sole purpose for my life? No. Can God be glorified in family's lives that have children? Absolutely. Can God be glorified in my childlessness? I sure hope so.
I believe it was John Piper who said, "God is most glorified in me, when I am most satisfied in Him." Over the years, I have had to ask myself so many times, what is it I am living for? Marriage? Children? If my sole purpose in life is to glorify God, then I will be able to say with the apostle Paul, I have learned to be content in all circumstances.
This week I have been reading through one of my favorite books of the Bible, Philippians. Paul says, "Whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord...I want to know Christ, yes, to know the power of his resurrection and the participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death." Sometimes, often times, it is through the losses in life that we experience the greatest gain...the gain of knowing Christ.
May He be glorified in you and I wherever we find ourselves today....in singleness, in marriage, in childlessness, or with a house full of children. He asks one thing of all of us, that we glorify him in whatever we do, this is our purpose.
Saturday, December 21, 2013
My Favorite Christmas Things
I love Christmas with kids around. There is something about the joy and anticipation in a child's face on Christmas day that is so fun to watch. I have so many Christmas memories with kids in them. In fact, last year was the only year I have spent without kids as part of my Christmas day.
Growing up, there were lots of kids around. I remember younger siblings waking me up on Christmas morning begging me to help get mom and dad up. I remember walking out into the living room with my younger siblings (there were eight of them for those of you who don't know!) and seeing their eyes light up at the sight of all the presents.
Then I went to Thailand, where I spent five Christmases. The first, I was caring for a friend's six Thai foster babies, all under the age of two! Wow, that was a fun Christmas!
For the years following I had foster kids of my own. I have so many good memories of decorating our little fake tree, listening to kid's praise Christmas music, making sugar cookies and paper chains and going to the orphanage for an afternoon of games and fun Christmas celebrations.
One of my favorite Christmas memories though is of my foster kids acting out the Christmas story. J was Mary with a blue blanket wrapped around her, C was Joseph with a towel over his head, and A was baby Jesus, sometimes the other J was an angel...precious kids they would walk from one end of the house to the other to get to Bethlehem. Then they would stop and play with the nativity. This nativity is the one toy I kept of my kids, I couldn't let it go, way too many memories. I can't wait to see our kids playing with this nativity!
There is something so very special about a nativity set at Christmas, it keeps everything in perspective. Reminds us what the season is all about.
My deepest prayer for my siblings, for my foster kids, for my future kids, for myself, and for you is that we would always remember the true meaning of Christmas and that it all started because of the baby Messiah-He is truly the greatest gift of Christmas and He gives us reason to celebrate.
Growing up, there were lots of kids around. I remember younger siblings waking me up on Christmas morning begging me to help get mom and dad up. I remember walking out into the living room with my younger siblings (there were eight of them for those of you who don't know!) and seeing their eyes light up at the sight of all the presents.
Then I went to Thailand, where I spent five Christmases. The first, I was caring for a friend's six Thai foster babies, all under the age of two! Wow, that was a fun Christmas!
For the years following I had foster kids of my own. I have so many good memories of decorating our little fake tree, listening to kid's praise Christmas music, making sugar cookies and paper chains and going to the orphanage for an afternoon of games and fun Christmas celebrations.
One of my favorite Christmas memories though is of my foster kids acting out the Christmas story. J was Mary with a blue blanket wrapped around her, C was Joseph with a towel over his head, and A was baby Jesus, sometimes the other J was an angel...precious kids they would walk from one end of the house to the other to get to Bethlehem. Then they would stop and play with the nativity. This nativity is the one toy I kept of my kids, I couldn't let it go, way too many memories. I can't wait to see our kids playing with this nativity!
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While in Thailand I found this hand painted nativity.
Complete with an elephant!
So children or not this Christmas, I will celebrate because He came and was born. Born that He might bring hope and joy and even more, everlasting life. Merry Christmas!!
Saturday, November 30, 2013
The Well is Always Here
One Thousand Gifts.....if you haven't read this book (by Ann Voskamp), I highly recommend it (Thanks Whitney!). It is so appropriate to read this time of year as we have been celebrating Thanksgiving, and I sometimes still struggle to focus of what I have instead of what I do not have.
The holidays are a hard time for a lot of people, many are alone or facing some sort of family, financial, or health difficulty. And for some reason these things can all seem a little worse around the holidays. I know that's true for me. I have always loved the holidays, but the last couple of years they have brought with them this undeniable sadness. They have made me miss having children in a very deep way. Even though we now know who our children are, they still aren't here. Yes, it is our last holiday season without children, but we miss them. And this holiday season, I am once again having to choose joy and choose to go to the well.
This morning, my heart was stirred by this passage from the book I was just telling you about:
"Then God opened her eyes and she saw a well of water" (Genesis 21:19 NIV).
"Hagar and her boy were dying of thirst with a well less than a bowshot away.
In this wilderness, I keep circling back to this: I'm blind to joy's well every time I really don't want it. The well is always there. And I choose not to see it. Don't I really want joy? Don't I really want the fullest life? For all my yearning for joy, longing for joy, begging for joy--is the bald truth that I prefer the empty dark? Prefer drama? Why do I lunge for control instead of joy? Is it somehow more perversely satisfying to flex control's muscle? Ah--power--like Satan. Do I think Jesus' grace too impotent to give me the full life? Isn't that the only reason I don't always swill the joy? If the startling truth is that I don't really want joy, there's a far worse truth. If I am rejecting the joy that is hidden somewhere deep in this moment--am I not ultimately rejecting God? Whenever I am blind to joy's well, isn't it because I don't believe in God's care? That God cares enough about me to always offer me joy's water, wherever I am, regardless of circumstance. But if I don't believe God cares, if I don't want or seek the joy He definitely offers somewhere in this moment--I don't want God.
Blasphemer.
In His presence is fullness of joy. He is in this moment. The well is always here. God is always here--precisely because He does care.
You have to want to see the well before you can drink from it. You have to want to see joy, God in the moment."
This holiday season, I want to see joy, God in the moment. Do you? Easier said than done, but we must choose to go to the well and drink of joy's water.
The holidays are a hard time for a lot of people, many are alone or facing some sort of family, financial, or health difficulty. And for some reason these things can all seem a little worse around the holidays. I know that's true for me. I have always loved the holidays, but the last couple of years they have brought with them this undeniable sadness. They have made me miss having children in a very deep way. Even though we now know who our children are, they still aren't here. Yes, it is our last holiday season without children, but we miss them. And this holiday season, I am once again having to choose joy and choose to go to the well.
This morning, my heart was stirred by this passage from the book I was just telling you about:
"Then God opened her eyes and she saw a well of water" (Genesis 21:19 NIV).
"Hagar and her boy were dying of thirst with a well less than a bowshot away.
In this wilderness, I keep circling back to this: I'm blind to joy's well every time I really don't want it. The well is always there. And I choose not to see it. Don't I really want joy? Don't I really want the fullest life? For all my yearning for joy, longing for joy, begging for joy--is the bald truth that I prefer the empty dark? Prefer drama? Why do I lunge for control instead of joy? Is it somehow more perversely satisfying to flex control's muscle? Ah--power--like Satan. Do I think Jesus' grace too impotent to give me the full life? Isn't that the only reason I don't always swill the joy? If the startling truth is that I don't really want joy, there's a far worse truth. If I am rejecting the joy that is hidden somewhere deep in this moment--am I not ultimately rejecting God? Whenever I am blind to joy's well, isn't it because I don't believe in God's care? That God cares enough about me to always offer me joy's water, wherever I am, regardless of circumstance. But if I don't believe God cares, if I don't want or seek the joy He definitely offers somewhere in this moment--I don't want God.
Blasphemer.
In His presence is fullness of joy. He is in this moment. The well is always here. God is always here--precisely because He does care.
You have to want to see the well before you can drink from it. You have to want to see joy, God in the moment."
This holiday season, I want to see joy, God in the moment. Do you? Easier said than done, but we must choose to go to the well and drink of joy's water.
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