Where Joy Comes From

I hate when I feel like my happiness is dependent on my circumstances.  When I let my happiness be determined by my circumstances.  These last couple of weeks have been long and I have really had to lean in heavily on the Lord.  Part of the whole point of this journey of life, right?  Most people who have been through difficult times will tell you that nothing makes you depend on the Lord and grow in your walk with Him like the hard times.  Most of us wouldn't choose the hard times, but God, in His love and mercy, uses the hard times to grow us closer to Him and to make us more dependent on Him.  I am so thankful that while my happiness can be easily affected, I have a deeper kind of happiness that remains, its called joy.  My happiness may ebb and flow, but joy is a constant, it stems from a deep sense of knowing that everything is going to be okay, that Someone is in control.

Sarah Young, in her devotional Jesus Calling, says, "Knowing [God] intimately is like having a private wellspring of joy within you. The spring flows freely from [God's] throne of grace, so your joy is independent of circumstances. Waiting on [God's] presence keeps you connected to [Him], aware of all that [He] offers you. If you feel any deficiency, you need to refocus your attention on [God]. This is how you trust [God] in the moments of your life."

Psalm 37:7 says, "Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him." Easier said than done sometimes. Be still before the Lord. And wait patiently for Him. In our society, we are all about making things happen.  Being still? This takes some serious discipline. 

Today, I want to find joy in Him. Regardless of my circumstances.  Regardless of whether my children are with me or not. Regardless of whether the adoption board grants us approval this week or not.  The joy of the LORD will be my strength.  I will keep fighting to keep my eyes on Him, to keep trusting, to stay closely connected to my wellspring of joy. I will be still in His presence.

Tuesday was indeed another Thai Tuesday around here.  We made "laap", or minced chicken salad, something we recently learned to make at a local Thai restaurant where we got to take a cooking class.  We are so grateful to have Thai people in our community who are willing to teach us and share their wonderful culture with us. 

THIS could have been the Thai Tuesday.....but I am trying not to focus so much on that and am instead trying to be still in a different way.  I am not sure that I can handle the disappointment if we do not get approval again, so I am trying not to get my hopes set on that, but rather to focus on being still in God's presence.  Because in God's presence and with Him, anything is possible, and most especially joy.