I haven't taken much time to blog this last week because well, I have waited a long time to be with my children and I am soaking up every moment. I have fallen asleep with them each night and waken up to their faces next to mine and their hands reaching out for me. I have napped next to them most days too. Even though I want to share this part of the journey with all of you, I haven't pulled myself away from the kids enough to do that, and I know you understand. At the same time though, I really want to blog because in the future, I want to be able to look back and see all that God has done and so I will take the time when I can and continue to write.
Our children are simply amazing. We could not imagine things going any better. There is definitely a connection with our kids and has been since day one. At times, it feels like we have known each other for a long time and at other moments, I realize how very much I do not know about them or about being their mom. We have been surprised at how well the kids transitioned into our care.
We first met them on Sunday, December 14th. They were brought to the hotel we were staying at and we met them in the lobby. They walked in with the bears we sent them over a year ago in hand (And let me tell you those bears have been well loved!). They stared at us for a couple of seconds before their social worker got out the picture albums we sent and asked them who they saw in the pictures and did it look like us. They both nodded. Marc got out a couple of small cars and we sat down, right in the middle of the lobby and pushed the cars toward them. They smiled at us and pushed them back.
Then we got out some bouncy balls, not sure the social workers thought that was the best activity for the lobby so they asked if we wanted to go up to our room. Which we were very glad to do, kind of crazy to meet your children for the first time in a large hotel lobby with onlookers all around. Not a big deal though, because as soon as we saw our children everything else faded into the background.
Once we got to our room we got out some large balloons we brought with us and Marc started blowing them up. Thankfully the hotel we were staying at had a very large living room, so there was plenty of room to play. The kids loved the balloons and we spent the better part of the next hour playing with the balloons and chasing the kids around the room. Marc laid down on the floor at one point and both kids climbed on his back. He got up and started crawling around the room and we heard the best sound, giggles and laughter. Our kids have never known a dad, not even a foster dad since their foster mom was a widow. They LOVE Marc and its as if they know they need a dad. They are so eager for his love and attention.
After this time in our room, we left to walk across the street for lunch. Our kids both wanted us to carry them and then sat on our laps at the restaurant. They shared a meal of fried rice and ate just about every last piece of rice. We walked back to our room and spent another hour or so playing before it was time to go.
We rode with the social workers to the kid's foster home, which is about an hour outside of Bangkok. We passed through the city of Bangkok and made our way into a much more rural part of the country, a city surrounded by rice fields. It was surreal to meet the kids' foster mom, just as it was to meet them. We have been looking at each other's pictures for 17 months and to finally meet was wonderful. Their foster mom seems like a very sweet and caring woman and we are so grateful for the love and care she has given our children.
It is a very different feeling on this side of things. I know her grief and pain, at even the thought of goodbye, well. We gave her some photo gifts we had made for her and she couldn't stop smiling looking at them. We told her that our kids will always know that she loves them, that we will send pictures, and bring them back to visit.
As we said goodbye the kids wanted us to hold them and didn't want us to put them down, truly God had already begun to knit our hearts together.
A week has passed since this first day we met and tomorrow we will pick up the kids' visas at the U.S. Embassy, head to the airport and board a plane for America. We have had a wonderful three weeks here in Thailand, but are looking forward to coming home. Home for Christmas.
I will write more about the last week when I can!
Monday, December 22, 2014
Monday, December 15, 2014
Tasting the Sweeetness
*I wrote this five days ago, but have not had a chance to
post it yet. I have a lot of blogging to
catch up on, we will see if or when that happens!
On the flight over to Thailand I started a new book, one I
have been waiting to read and bought knowing I wanted to read on this
trip. This book, in the title alone,
sums up so much of how I feel about our journey. Every Bitter Thing is Sweet. My heart is
overwhelmed with sweetness this trip, with seeing things once bitter become
sweet.
I am only a couple of chapters in, but if you have experienced anything bitter in your life, I think you would enjoy this book. If you are hungering for something more, for some kind of meaning in the bitter you have experienced, the words in this book, along with the list of Scripture references at the end of every chapter, will speak to your soul.
On the flight over to Thailand I started a new book, one I
have been waiting to read and bought knowing I wanted to read on this
trip. This book, in the title alone,
sums up so much of how I feel about our journey. Every Bitter Thing is Sweet. My heart is
overwhelmed with sweetness this trip, with seeing things once bitter become
sweet. I am only a couple of chapters in, but if you have experienced anything bitter in your life, I think you would enjoy this book. If you are hungering for something more, for some kind of meaning in the bitter you have experienced, the words in this book, along with the list of Scripture references at the end of every chapter, will speak to your soul.
I have walked through some bitter days in my life, some I
may never write about, others I must.
Most of you know that I fostered four precious children long
term when I was living in Thailand back in 2002-2008. I cared for two of these children for four
years and two of them for two years.
They were my children and I loved them with every part of my being. I would have given my life for them, I still
would. I loved them as much as I can
ever imagine loving a child. Each of my
foster children came to me with some challenges - physical, medical, emotional.
We went through a lot together, those kids and I, perhaps the biggest thing we
went through though, was saying goodbye.
I would have adopted each one of them if I could have but for lots of
reasons I was not able to, the biggest reason perhaps being that I knew that
was not God’s plan for them or for me. I
didn’t understand it then, but I understand it a little more now.
This trip is about meeting our children, but it has also
been about reconnecting and visiting two of these precious children that I
called my own.
Bittersweet. We
called that time, the day they met their forever parents and transitioned into
their care, bittersweet. I knew it was sweet, but to me, at that time, it felt
mostly bitter. I can remember the
difficult moments of goodbye like it was yesterday. The pain in my heart, the looks in their
eyes. I had to keep telling myself this
was God’s plan and it was good, but it didn’t feel good.
When we landed in Bangkok last week we were met by one of my
foster children and her dad. We had a
very brief visit because we are doing some traveling before we head back to
Bangkok to spend a couple of days with this sweet little one, my little peanut,
I always called her. She has changed so
much. She has a head full of curly hear,
she speaks English with a British accent and she has a dad, to name a few ways. That is something she never had with me, a
dad. She had a heavenly Father, a very
real heavenly Father, but she had no one to teach her what having a father is
all about. Seeing her there with her
dad, it was confirmation to my soul that she is right where she needs to be. As I type this, I am on a plane heading back
for my longer visit with her and her family. I am so looking forward to reconnecting
with my little peanut.
 |
| An aquarium my foster kids loved looking at. |
From Bangkok we flew to Chiang Mai. This was where I lived for six years and it
felt like coming home. We were met at
the airport in CM by a dear friend of mine and her sweet daughter. We lived together for a couple of years
there. We stopped and got a bowl of
noodles on the way to their house. Yes,
it felt like coming home.
We spent three
full days up in CM. It was a wonderful
time of reconnecting with dear friends, people that are more like family to me
than friends. It was interesting to be
back there no longer single and childless.
We went to some of the places I had frequented with my children. Places I always went with a double stroller
and a baby carrier. It’s crazy that
another six years have passed. Now I am
married and have only days left of being childless.
God’s plan is good. At times it is difficult to understand and at
times it feels bitter, but in the end, especially in the ultimate end, it is
good, always good.
From Chiang Mai we flew down south to Hat Yai. Hat Yai is home to another of my foster
daughters and her family. Seeing this
little one again after six years, well as you can imagine stirred up so many
things, but as I reflect, most of all it stirred up joy and contentment. Joy because she is happy and healthy and very
well attached to her family. Contentment because I know she is exactly where
she is supposed to be. God picked out
the perfect family for her in oh so many ways.
This sweet girl had the biggest challenges of all my foster kids to
overcome. And do you know what? She has overcome so many of them and God is
not finished with her yet. I could tell
during my short days with her that His hand has continued to rest on her and
heal her. She has the most nurturing
mother and a house full of siblings to love on and care for her. She has flourished in this home. She is not
my child anymore, she is theirs…though we do all recognize that ultimately she
is His, it was sweet to see that she belongs in this family.
From Hat Yai we flew to Krabi. A short and very sweet little
get away before heading back to Bangkok to visit with my other foster daughter
and her family and to meet our children.
I will try to write separately about this time because I have lots of amazing
pictures to share. We have pictures of all of our trips and of course there are
so many details I could share, but so many of these moments are too much to
write about and some almost too sacred to share.
In Krabi we were surrounded
by some of His most beautiful creations and throughout our time there I was in
awe of Him. In awe of His creation and His master plan.
What He has shown me most of all through this last week of travel and the quick time in the airport in Bangkok and the times in Chiang Mai and Hat Yai is that He is delights in making the bitter sweet. Even the most bitter of moments, such as saying goodbye to my foster children, He can make sweet. He has a plan, always, He has a plan. A plan for our good and His glory. I feel His presence so near to me, like He is holding my hand and giving me glimpses into His story and reminding me that He is good.
*And indeed the most bitter thing in my life has become
sweet. I am a mom! Will definitely be
writing more about that later.
Sunday, November 23, 2014
Overwhelmed with Thankfulness
Somehow its been over a month since I have written. There is SO much that I could write about and so much to fill all of you dear blog readers up on!
First of all, I have to say that as Thanksgiving approaches this week, I am overwhelmed with gratefulness for all that God has done and is doing in our lives. This morning, singing in church and tonight, when we had Thanksgiving dinner with our church family, I felt so overwhelmed by God's faithfulness. We sang this song, "Never once did I ever walk alone, never once did you leave me on my own. God you are faithful. God you are faithful."
There have certainly been times in my life, most recently in the infertility journey, where I felt alone, but like I have written about here before, sometimes you have to remind yourself of the facts when you are having feelings that are not true. Never once, never, did I walk alone. God was with me at every doctor's appointment. He was with us when we got our diagnosis and every night I cried myself to sleep, He was there. And you know what? He had a plan all along. He didn't want my husband and I to wait and adopt in another 5-10 years, He wanted us to adopt now. He wanted us to be parents to our two precious children. He is so faithful to lead and guide. And now? Now we cannot imagine it any other way.
Wherever you are tonight and whatever you are feeling, remind yourself of this fact, you are not alone and He has a plan, even if you cannot see or understand it now, He has a plan.
I am also overwhelmed right now that in a matter of weeks I will be meeting my children for the first time. That's right, we received travel approval and very very soon we will be on a plane to Thailand!!
It has been a flurry of activity around here as we put the finishing touches on our kid's rooms and plan out our trip. We have been busy purchasing tickets, booking hotel rooms, making gifts for our kid's foster mom, and putting away gifts from two wonderful showers that family and friends threw.
My heart can barely contain my excitement and will surely explode at some point from all the anticipation of finally meeting our sweet children. I can only imagine how amazing it is going to be to look into their eyes and hear their voices, to see and get to know their personalities and interests. Meeting them will be a moment I know I will never forget.
First of all, I have to say that as Thanksgiving approaches this week, I am overwhelmed with gratefulness for all that God has done and is doing in our lives. This morning, singing in church and tonight, when we had Thanksgiving dinner with our church family, I felt so overwhelmed by God's faithfulness. We sang this song, "Never once did I ever walk alone, never once did you leave me on my own. God you are faithful. God you are faithful."
There have certainly been times in my life, most recently in the infertility journey, where I felt alone, but like I have written about here before, sometimes you have to remind yourself of the facts when you are having feelings that are not true. Never once, never, did I walk alone. God was with me at every doctor's appointment. He was with us when we got our diagnosis and every night I cried myself to sleep, He was there. And you know what? He had a plan all along. He didn't want my husband and I to wait and adopt in another 5-10 years, He wanted us to adopt now. He wanted us to be parents to our two precious children. He is so faithful to lead and guide. And now? Now we cannot imagine it any other way.
Wherever you are tonight and whatever you are feeling, remind yourself of this fact, you are not alone and He has a plan, even if you cannot see or understand it now, He has a plan.
It has been a flurry of activity around here as we put the finishing touches on our kid's rooms and plan out our trip. We have been busy purchasing tickets, booking hotel rooms, making gifts for our kid's foster mom, and putting away gifts from two wonderful showers that family and friends threw.
My heart can barely contain my excitement and will surely explode at some point from all the anticipation of finally meeting our sweet children. I can only imagine how amazing it is going to be to look into their eyes and hear their voices, to see and get to know their personalities and interests. Meeting them will be a moment I know I will never forget.
Tuesday, October 21, 2014
Nesting
Still no passports. That's okay though because we are still on track to travel by the end of the year. This week I am doing a much better job of not thinking that every email I receive might be from my adoption agency telling me that my kids have passports. Part of the reason for that.....I am busy nesting!!! My children are coming home and I have lots to do to get ready for them.
The upstairs of my house is torn apart and almost nothing is in its rightful place! The dear hubby and I are painting the kid's bedrooms, refinishing furniture, (If you have never tried chalk paint, I highly recommend it!), putting in ceiling fans, and doing lots or organizing.
Here is a before and after look at one of my projects. This delightful dresser was purchased off of Craigslist for $25.00 and was my dresser for the past five years. Not sure why I didn't paint this thing sooner! Now it is ready for our little girl and is filled with adorable little girl's clothes!
Secondly, though this may not be traditional nesting, it is part of my preparation. My kids each weigh around 30 pounds, give or take five pounds. You know how new moms and dads carry around newborns, how they hold them and affectionately keep them close? Well, that's what I want to do with my kids. The only problem is that they are not a little seven or eight pound buddle...and there are two of them! So, what are we doing to prepare? Well today, we started back into an intense Jillian Michael's workout DVD in an effort to build some strength into these bodies of ours. I know, I know, I should have started this months ago, but better late than never, right?! And please don't tell me they are old enough to walk. I will carry them around as long as they (and my arms) will let me! Its good for attachment.
Today, is Thai Tuesday, and as I type, the adoption board is meeting in Bangkok. Though I am no longer praying for our case to receive first approval, I am still praying for this meeting. I have been blessed to get to know many other families on a similar journey to adopt from Thailand and some of them are still waiting for their first approval, and so tonight I am praying for them and that their cases would receive approval soon so that they can travel to bring their children home.
And yes, we do still eat Thai food on Tuesdays!
The upstairs of my house is torn apart and almost nothing is in its rightful place! The dear hubby and I are painting the kid's bedrooms, refinishing furniture, (If you have never tried chalk paint, I highly recommend it!), putting in ceiling fans, and doing lots or organizing.
Here is a before and after look at one of my projects. This delightful dresser was purchased off of Craigslist for $25.00 and was my dresser for the past five years. Not sure why I didn't paint this thing sooner! Now it is ready for our little girl and is filled with adorable little girl's clothes!
 |
| Before |
 |
| A work in progress! |
 |
| After! |
Today, is Thai Tuesday, and as I type, the adoption board is meeting in Bangkok. Though I am no longer praying for our case to receive first approval, I am still praying for this meeting. I have been blessed to get to know many other families on a similar journey to adopt from Thailand and some of them are still waiting for their first approval, and so tonight I am praying for them and that their cases would receive approval soon so that they can travel to bring their children home.
And yes, we do still eat Thai food on Tuesdays!
 |
| Penang Curry! A new recipe from one of Marc's cousins, who grew up in Thailand. |
Sunday, October 12, 2014
A Shower Invitation
Today, a dear friend of mine handed me a shower invitation. I have been given lots of shower invitations over the years, but this invitation was different. This invitation was for MY shower. I got choked up just looking at. I am going to have a shower, people are going to give me presents for my children. I have children.
As my eyes fill with tears, all I can think is, God is so faithful. Even when we don't see Him working, He is. He is working for our good and His glory. If I could have had it my way, I would already have a couple of children running around my house. I would have already had a baby shower or two to celebrate the children I was expecting. But God. God in His infinite wisdom knew that I needed these two children on the other side of the world. And He knew that they needed me. Its kind of crazy to sit back and think on the journey God has had me on, so very different then the journey I would have originally chosen, but now? I wouldn't have it any other way. I am so thankful that this is exactly where God has me, that I haven't had baby showers and that my bedrooms are not yet filled with children, because then we wouldn't be adopting our two precious children.
Infertility and the ache to be a mom have been heavy burdens to bear at times. But God. God is so gracious and, when I have let Him, He has carried these burdens for me. He has walked with me through some hard times, comforted me when I have cried, healed my broken heart, and given me hope.
And now, He is giving me children. Two precious children that I have yet to meet, but will get to meet so very soon!
Things are still moving forward and it looks like we are still on track to travel this year!! We received approval from immigration for our kids to become US citizens and we have uploaded all their information to the embassy in Bangkok. Just a couple more little steps and we should be given dates for when we can travel to Thailand. Our kids need to get their passports, hopefully that will happen this week. Once they have their passports, we have to file some paperwork for their visas and then we will get tentative travel dates. There are two adoption board meetings in December. One is on December 3rd and the other is on December 18th. We hope to be at one of these....with our children!!
As my eyes fill with tears, all I can think is, God is so faithful. Even when we don't see Him working, He is. He is working for our good and His glory. If I could have had it my way, I would already have a couple of children running around my house. I would have already had a baby shower or two to celebrate the children I was expecting. But God. God in His infinite wisdom knew that I needed these two children on the other side of the world. And He knew that they needed me. Its kind of crazy to sit back and think on the journey God has had me on, so very different then the journey I would have originally chosen, but now? I wouldn't have it any other way. I am so thankful that this is exactly where God has me, that I haven't had baby showers and that my bedrooms are not yet filled with children, because then we wouldn't be adopting our two precious children.
Infertility and the ache to be a mom have been heavy burdens to bear at times. But God. God is so gracious and, when I have let Him, He has carried these burdens for me. He has walked with me through some hard times, comforted me when I have cried, healed my broken heart, and given me hope.
And now, He is giving me children. Two precious children that I have yet to meet, but will get to meet so very soon!
Things are still moving forward and it looks like we are still on track to travel this year!! We received approval from immigration for our kids to become US citizens and we have uploaded all their information to the embassy in Bangkok. Just a couple more little steps and we should be given dates for when we can travel to Thailand. Our kids need to get their passports, hopefully that will happen this week. Once they have their passports, we have to file some paperwork for their visas and then we will get tentative travel dates. There are two adoption board meetings in December. One is on December 3rd and the other is on December 18th. We hope to be at one of these....with our children!!
Friday, September 19, 2014
THE Thai Tuesday
If you have been following along on our adoption journey, you are well aware that we have been waiting for over a year now for something called first approval. And you also know that we had hoped to have it by now.
I have been in touch with our adoption agency over the last week or so as they tried to figure out if we would be presented at the meeting taking place this week in Bangkok. So, when I picked up my phone on Tuesday and saw that I had missed a phone call from our adoption agency, I just figured it was an update about whether we would be presented or not. I finally connected with the director of the program on my way home from work and got some long expected, yet totally, unexpected news.
Tuesday was THE Thai Tuesday!! We got first approval!! And while this was the Thai Tuesday we found out, we actually got approval a couple of weeks ago! We can hardly believe it!! After so long and too many days of wondering if it was ever going to happen, it HAS happened!!
We got FIRST APPROVAL!!!
What's next you wonder?
Article 16. We need this piece of paper, which is a summary of how our children came to be placed for adoption, along with some of our kids' legal documents so we can file them with USCIS (United States Citizenship and Immigration Services). This next step usually takes anywhere from 2-8 weeks.
Guess what?
Our article 16 and other needed documents came in the mail YESTERDAY! And after frantically completing a TON of paperwork over the last couple of days, everything was sent back out today via Fed Ex to US immigration!
Lots more little steps have to be completed over the next few months, but the end is in sight!! And there is a very good chance that we will travel before Christmas! Christmas! We might be with our children before Christmas! I don't think there could be a better Christmas present than having my children in my arms.
I have been in touch with our adoption agency over the last week or so as they tried to figure out if we would be presented at the meeting taking place this week in Bangkok. So, when I picked up my phone on Tuesday and saw that I had missed a phone call from our adoption agency, I just figured it was an update about whether we would be presented or not. I finally connected with the director of the program on my way home from work and got some long expected, yet totally, unexpected news.
Tuesday was THE Thai Tuesday!! We got first approval!! And while this was the Thai Tuesday we found out, we actually got approval a couple of weeks ago! We can hardly believe it!! After so long and too many days of wondering if it was ever going to happen, it HAS happened!!
We got FIRST APPROVAL!!!
What's next you wonder?
Article 16. We need this piece of paper, which is a summary of how our children came to be placed for adoption, along with some of our kids' legal documents so we can file them with USCIS (United States Citizenship and Immigration Services). This next step usually takes anywhere from 2-8 weeks.
Guess what?
Our article 16 and other needed documents came in the mail YESTERDAY! And after frantically completing a TON of paperwork over the last couple of days, everything was sent back out today via Fed Ex to US immigration!
Lots more little steps have to be completed over the next few months, but the end is in sight!! And there is a very good chance that we will travel before Christmas! Christmas! We might be with our children before Christmas! I don't think there could be a better Christmas present than having my children in my arms.
Thursday, August 21, 2014
Where Joy Comes From
I hate when I feel like my happiness is dependent on my circumstances. When I let my happiness be determined by my circumstances. These last couple of weeks have been long and I have really had to lean in heavily on the Lord. Part of the whole point of this journey of life, right? Most people who have been through difficult times will tell you that nothing makes you depend on the Lord and grow in your walk with Him like the hard times. Most of us wouldn't choose the hard times, but God, in His love and mercy, uses the hard times to grow us closer to Him and to make us more dependent on Him. I am so thankful that while my happiness can be easily affected, I have a deeper kind of happiness that remains, its called joy. My happiness may ebb and flow, but joy is a constant, it stems from a deep sense of knowing that everything is going to be okay, that Someone is in control.
Sarah Young, in her devotional Jesus Calling, says, "Knowing [God] intimately is like having a private wellspring of joy within you. The spring flows freely from [God's] throne of grace, so your joy is independent of circumstances. Waiting on [God's] presence keeps you connected to [Him], aware of all that [He] offers you. If you feel any deficiency, you need to refocus your attention on [God]. This is how you trust [God] in the moments of your life."
Psalm 37:7 says, "Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him." Easier said than done sometimes. Be still before the Lord. And wait patiently for Him. In our society, we are all about making things happen. Being still? This takes some serious discipline.
Today, I want to find joy in Him. Regardless of my circumstances. Regardless of whether my children are with me or not. Regardless of whether the adoption board grants us approval this week or not. The joy of the LORD will be my strength. I will keep fighting to keep my eyes on Him, to keep trusting, to stay closely connected to my wellspring of joy. I will be still in His presence.
Tuesday was indeed another Thai Tuesday around here. We made "laap", or minced chicken salad, something we recently learned to make at a local Thai restaurant where we got to take a cooking class. We are so grateful to have Thai people in our community who are willing to teach us and share their wonderful culture with us.
THIS could have been the Thai Tuesday.....but I am trying not to focus so much on that and am instead trying to be still in a different way. I am not sure that I can handle the disappointment if we do not get approval again, so I am trying not to get my hopes set on that, but rather to focus on being still in God's presence. Because in God's presence and with Him, anything is possible, and most especially joy.
Sarah Young, in her devotional Jesus Calling, says, "Knowing [God] intimately is like having a private wellspring of joy within you. The spring flows freely from [God's] throne of grace, so your joy is independent of circumstances. Waiting on [God's] presence keeps you connected to [Him], aware of all that [He] offers you. If you feel any deficiency, you need to refocus your attention on [God]. This is how you trust [God] in the moments of your life."
Psalm 37:7 says, "Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him." Easier said than done sometimes. Be still before the Lord. And wait patiently for Him. In our society, we are all about making things happen. Being still? This takes some serious discipline.
Today, I want to find joy in Him. Regardless of my circumstances. Regardless of whether my children are with me or not. Regardless of whether the adoption board grants us approval this week or not. The joy of the LORD will be my strength. I will keep fighting to keep my eyes on Him, to keep trusting, to stay closely connected to my wellspring of joy. I will be still in His presence.
Tuesday was indeed another Thai Tuesday around here. We made "laap", or minced chicken salad, something we recently learned to make at a local Thai restaurant where we got to take a cooking class. We are so grateful to have Thai people in our community who are willing to teach us and share their wonderful culture with us.
THIS could have been the Thai Tuesday.....but I am trying not to focus so much on that and am instead trying to be still in a different way. I am not sure that I can handle the disappointment if we do not get approval again, so I am trying not to get my hopes set on that, but rather to focus on being still in God's presence. Because in God's presence and with Him, anything is possible, and most especially joy.
Friday, August 8, 2014
Forgotten?
Have you ever felt forgotten? Passed by. Overlooked.
Me too.
This is different than being jealous, at least I think it is. It feels different. When you feel forgotten you can still feel genuinely happy for those who don't appear to be forgotten.
Feeling forgotten doesn't mean that you are, its just how you feel.
God made me a feeling being, He gave me this heart that feels things deeply. There have been times in my life when I wish that I didn't feel things so deeply, it hurts too much sometimes. And yet, I know there is a reason that He made me this way. I can't ignore how I feel, so I choose to explore these feelings, to sort them out and to fill in facts to go along with these feelings.
I am going to be really real with you for a few minutes.
My heart is aching, literally, physically aching for my children to be home with me. This might be hard to understand, okay it is, right? I have never met these children, never talked to them, they are not really mine and yet my heart tells me they are. Imagine for a minute being separated from your kids for a year, having no control over their lives, who is interacting with them, who is teaching them, what they are eating or what kind of medical and dental care they are getting. Its hard friends.
Now don't get me wrong, our agency has a wonderful foundation set up in Thailand to care for children like our two little ones, but its a foundation, they are with a foster parent instead of their forever family. My heart longs to be close to them, to wrap my arms around them and speak to them of Jesus' love. I long for them to know that we are committed to them, today, tomorrow, and always, no matter what is ahead. They are our kids and we love them, so very deeply we love them.
There is one, seemingly simple, next step that we are waiting for, its called first approval. We need, our children need, for the Thai adoption board to review our case and say yes, yes, you can adopt these kids. Unofficially, we have already been told that, but we need to hear that officially.
This week in Thailand there was another board meeting. Six families got first approval. Six families. This is amazing. There has been so little movement all year and over the last month there have been close to 15 approvals. I am genuinely happy for each family that has gotten first approval, but I am also sad because we have not been one of them and according to how long we have been waiting and what we have been told, we should have been.
God has a perfect plan. I know that. He is good and He is trustworthy. I know that things happen in His time, not mine. This is a lesson that I am continually learning. I know that God hasn't forgotten me and I trust Him. I choose to trust Him even when it hurts, even when it feels like I've been forgotten. I choose to rest in these facts, He sees me, He sees my children, and He has a perfect plan.
If you feel forgotten today, wherever you are and whatever is going on in your life, know you are not alone. And, know that you are not, you are not forgotten. He loves you. He sees you. Even when you don't feel this, rest in this fact. Even when I don't feel this, I will rest in this fact and know, I am not forgotten.
Me too.
This is different than being jealous, at least I think it is. It feels different. When you feel forgotten you can still feel genuinely happy for those who don't appear to be forgotten.
Feeling forgotten doesn't mean that you are, its just how you feel.
God made me a feeling being, He gave me this heart that feels things deeply. There have been times in my life when I wish that I didn't feel things so deeply, it hurts too much sometimes. And yet, I know there is a reason that He made me this way. I can't ignore how I feel, so I choose to explore these feelings, to sort them out and to fill in facts to go along with these feelings.
I am going to be really real with you for a few minutes.
My heart is aching, literally, physically aching for my children to be home with me. This might be hard to understand, okay it is, right? I have never met these children, never talked to them, they are not really mine and yet my heart tells me they are. Imagine for a minute being separated from your kids for a year, having no control over their lives, who is interacting with them, who is teaching them, what they are eating or what kind of medical and dental care they are getting. Its hard friends.
Now don't get me wrong, our agency has a wonderful foundation set up in Thailand to care for children like our two little ones, but its a foundation, they are with a foster parent instead of their forever family. My heart longs to be close to them, to wrap my arms around them and speak to them of Jesus' love. I long for them to know that we are committed to them, today, tomorrow, and always, no matter what is ahead. They are our kids and we love them, so very deeply we love them.
There is one, seemingly simple, next step that we are waiting for, its called first approval. We need, our children need, for the Thai adoption board to review our case and say yes, yes, you can adopt these kids. Unofficially, we have already been told that, but we need to hear that officially.
This week in Thailand there was another board meeting. Six families got first approval. Six families. This is amazing. There has been so little movement all year and over the last month there have been close to 15 approvals. I am genuinely happy for each family that has gotten first approval, but I am also sad because we have not been one of them and according to how long we have been waiting and what we have been told, we should have been.
God has a perfect plan. I know that. He is good and He is trustworthy. I know that things happen in His time, not mine. This is a lesson that I am continually learning. I know that God hasn't forgotten me and I trust Him. I choose to trust Him even when it hurts, even when it feels like I've been forgotten. I choose to rest in these facts, He sees me, He sees my children, and He has a perfect plan.
If you feel forgotten today, wherever you are and whatever is going on in your life, know you are not alone. And, know that you are not, you are not forgotten. He loves you. He sees you. Even when you don't feel this, rest in this fact. Even when I don't feel this, I will rest in this fact and know, I am not forgotten.
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| I painted this canvas a couple of years ago. Last night, I saw it through my tears sitting on a shelf in my bathroom. God's Word spoken to me. This is what I choose to do today, with all my heart, I choose to trust in the LORD. |
Wednesday, August 6, 2014
Pad Thai Recipe
Here is my Pad Thai recipe for those who are interested. This is actually not originally my recipe. A dear friend, Pim, taught me how to make this when I was living in Thailand. She was such a good cook!
This dish is pretty simple and you can buy most of the ingredients at a grocery store. The rice noodles, oyster sauce, and bean sprouts are easiest to find at an Asian grocery store.
1 pound of chicken or 1 block firm tofu (yellow on the outside)
Directions:
This dish is pretty simple and you can buy most of the ingredients at a grocery store. The rice noodles, oyster sauce, and bean sprouts are easiest to find at an Asian grocery store.
Pad Thai
1 pound of chicken or 1 block firm tofu (yellow on the outside)
½ c. green onions (chives)
4 cloves garlic or 3 T. minced garlic
2 T. oil
3 eggs (beaten)
Rice noodles (8 ounces)
1/3 c. oyster sauce
1/3 c. vinegar
1/3 c. sugar
½ c. chopped peanuts
1 c. bean sprouts
Limes
Cut chicken or tofu into small cubes. Cut green onions (chives) into 1
inch pieces. Chop garlic.
Mix oyster sauce, vinegar, and sugar together in a small
bowl. Set aside.
Put oil in wok. Sauté 2 tablespoons of the garlic. Add chicken and cook until done or tofu until hard. Remove tofu or chicken from wok, but leave the oil.
Cook noodles in boiling water for about 5 minutes depending
on how soft you want them.
Sauté remaining tablespoon of garlic in oil. Cook in 3 eggs.
In wok, stir in cooked noodles, sauce mixture, peanuts, tofu
or chicken, bean sprouts, and chives. Cook 3-4 minutes.
Serve with fresh bean sprouts, lime juice, more crushed
peanuts, and crushed red pepper. Yum!
Tuesday, August 5, 2014
Could this be THE Thai Tuesday?
This could be the meeting. If not this week, then the next meeting will most likely be the meeting. The meeting where the Thai Adoption Board will officially approve us to adopt our kids. We have been waiting over a year for this approval and we are so very close to receiving it. First approval they call it. As I have explained before on this blog, once we get this approval there will be another round of paperwork, another immigration approval and then we will get travel dates!
We are getting close!!
Tonight I made Pad Thai, one of our favorites.
I started with this:
This Thai Tuesday we are praying that the board would review our case and give it the approval it needs so that we can travel to Thailand and bring our children home. Will you pray with us?
We are getting close!!
Tonight I made Pad Thai, one of our favorites.
I started with this:
And ended with this:
This Thai Tuesday we are praying that the board would review our case and give it the approval it needs so that we can travel to Thailand and bring our children home. Will you pray with us?
Tuesday, July 22, 2014
Amazing Gifts
Some of you might remember that the end of last year we were awarded a grant through Lifesong for Orphans. It was a matching grant. They would match dollar for dollar what people gave to us up to $2,500. Well, I put the information out on my blog, but haven't really done a whole lot else with it. Within the first month of us receiving the grant, we had received $1,500 and were thrilled with the way God was providing. We had checked the account a few times this year, but the balance remained at $1,500. Earlier this month, we decided to check it again as we are working to get together the remaining balance of our adoption fee and much to our surprise we had exactly $2,500 in our account. Which means we will receive the full matching grant of $2,500. We needed a random amount, $939 and some change, and that was exactly what someone anonymously gave to us! Wow! Friends, God is so faithful to provide!
Another really cool thing about this gift is when we found out about it. The person actually gave the gift in April, but we didn't see it until just a couple of weeks ago, the same day we later found out our car needs a new transmission. God knew that on that very day we would need a reminder of His provision and that nothing catches Him off guard.
And while we are talking about matching grants, I don't think I've mentioned on this blog yet, that we were told about another matching grant that we should apply for through Brittany's Hope Foundation. We were thrilled to learn that we received a $2,000 matching grant through this organization and even more thrilled to learn that some very dear people in our lives wanted to give to match the whole grant, $2,000. We didn't even have a chance to say anything about this grant because it was matched as fast as we received it!
I don't know where you are at in your journey, but if you are reading this and finances are keeping you from stepping out and pursuing adoption, please know that where God guides, He provides! He is the one with the biggest heart for the fatherless. He is the One who wants to set the lonely in families (Psalm 68:5-6).
Another really cool thing about this gift is when we found out about it. The person actually gave the gift in April, but we didn't see it until just a couple of weeks ago, the same day we later found out our car needs a new transmission. God knew that on that very day we would need a reminder of His provision and that nothing catches Him off guard.
And while we are talking about matching grants, I don't think I've mentioned on this blog yet, that we were told about another matching grant that we should apply for through Brittany's Hope Foundation. We were thrilled to learn that we received a $2,000 matching grant through this organization and even more thrilled to learn that some very dear people in our lives wanted to give to match the whole grant, $2,000. We didn't even have a chance to say anything about this grant because it was matched as fast as we received it!
I don't know where you are at in your journey, but if you are reading this and finances are keeping you from stepping out and pursuing adoption, please know that where God guides, He provides! He is the one with the biggest heart for the fatherless. He is the One who wants to set the lonely in families (Psalm 68:5-6).
Wednesday, July 9, 2014
His Birthday
Less than three weeks after our little girl turned three, our little boy turned four. They are just over 11 months apart. What a fun June we are going to have next year and every year after that!!
This year for his birthday, the hubs and I went out for Thai food. Imagine that, us going out for Thai food! And what would a blog post of mine be without pictures of some delicious Thai food! I had some amazing mango curry and the hubs had chicken with peanut sauce that was okay.
Two places that we can't wait to take our kids when they are home. We dreamed about what it will be like to have him home. What will he like to eat? What is his personality like? Is he friendly, shy, quiet? Does he like ice cream? Has he ever had ice cream?
We decided to send him some little construction trucks. What little boy doesn't like trucks? We also sent him an outfit, maybe more for his foster mom than for him.
This year for his birthday, the hubs and I went out for Thai food. Imagine that, us going out for Thai food! And what would a blog post of mine be without pictures of some delicious Thai food! I had some amazing mango curry and the hubs had chicken with peanut sauce that was okay.
After dinner, we decided since it was his birthday we better get some ice cream, or more accurately Italian ice. We want him to know someday that we celebrated his life even when he wasn't with us.
Two places that we can't wait to take our kids when they are home. We dreamed about what it will be like to have him home. What will he like to eat? What is his personality like? Is he friendly, shy, quiet? Does he like ice cream? Has he ever had ice cream?
We decided to send him some little construction trucks. What little boy doesn't like trucks? We also sent him an outfit, maybe more for his foster mom than for him.
We are longing for him to be home with us driving these little trucks through our backyard, digging up dirt and making roads for them out of sticks and stones. Until then, we hope that he is having fun with them in Thailand. Someday little man, someday soon we are coming for you. We love you more than you could possibly know and we are longing for you to be home with us.
Monday, July 7, 2014
Her Birthday
Last month our little girl had a birthday, she turned three-years-old. In May we sent care packages over, so we went ahead and sent a few small things as birthday presents. Its a tricky thing to only buy items that will fit in a gallon Ziploc bag, weigh no more than a pound, and are relatively flat. We actually bought each of the kids something that was too much for the bags, so we had to scale back and find things that would fit what is allowed.
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| We found this sweet little baby doll with an extra outfit. |
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| And decided to send clothes for the first time. |
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| We also got a few birthday blower things and a camera to include and managed to fit it all in. |
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| We found a sweet card with stickers and wrote a little note. |
Sometimes it feels like a dream. There are two kids on the other side of the world, that call us Mommy and Daddy. Two kids on the other side of the world that we long to call Son and Daughter. Someday our dream will come true. We hold on to this hope. Someday, hopefully next year, we will celebrate birthdays with her in our laps, we will be able to tell her face to face how very much we love her. Until then, our care packages, pictures, and little notes will have to do.
We love you baby girl, and we are coming for you soon!
Tuesday, July 1, 2014
Thai Tuesday
Its been a little while since I've written. It is difficult to put into words all that has gone on in my heart this past month. June was quite a full month for us with lots of traveling. There was a fingerprinting trip, funeral trip, new baby trip, an anniversary trip.....oh how I long for the day I can tell you about our adoption trip. I have a feeling that is going to be one of the best trips of my life!!
Both of our children also had birthdays in the month of June. Last year, when we first found out about them, we thought there was a pretty good chance that they would be with us by their birthdays, but their birthdays have come and gone and still no word of travel. This was hard. This is hard. They are not two and three years old anymore, they are three and four. Three and four. They are learning and growing. Without us. This is hard.
Today is Tuesday. Tuesday night in America means that it is Wednesday morning in Thailand. And this Wednesday morning in Thailand there is a group of people called the Thai Adoption Board that are meeting and reviewing cases of children and families. It is at one of these meetings that our children's files and our file will be reviewed and we will be given official approval to adopt them. We are praying earnestly that at this meeting lots of families will get approval and that we would be one of them.
All of our traveling has left our refrigerator empty so, for Thai Tuesday tonight, we picked up a rotisserie chicken and made rice and corn to go with it. In Chiang Mai, they sell these chickens at little stands along the side of the road along with sticky rice, it was one of my favorite quick dinners to stop and pick up. They were SO good. One of the things that makes this meal for us is the chicken dipping sauce, you can buy it in the Asian isle of most grocery stores and even Wal-Mart. So, next time you don't know what to have for dinner, and especially if it is a Tuesday, grab a bottle of sauce and a chicken and say a prayer for our kids and that they would be able to come home soon.
I have several posts stirring in my heart that I hope to type up soon....what we sent our kids for their birthdays, a challenging John Piper sermon I read on the beach during our anniversary trip, and an amazing gift we received, to name a few. Thanks for journeying along with us, especially on Thai Tuesdays.
Both of our children also had birthdays in the month of June. Last year, when we first found out about them, we thought there was a pretty good chance that they would be with us by their birthdays, but their birthdays have come and gone and still no word of travel. This was hard. This is hard. They are not two and three years old anymore, they are three and four. Three and four. They are learning and growing. Without us. This is hard.
Today is Tuesday. Tuesday night in America means that it is Wednesday morning in Thailand. And this Wednesday morning in Thailand there is a group of people called the Thai Adoption Board that are meeting and reviewing cases of children and families. It is at one of these meetings that our children's files and our file will be reviewed and we will be given official approval to adopt them. We are praying earnestly that at this meeting lots of families will get approval and that we would be one of them.
All of our traveling has left our refrigerator empty so, for Thai Tuesday tonight, we picked up a rotisserie chicken and made rice and corn to go with it. In Chiang Mai, they sell these chickens at little stands along the side of the road along with sticky rice, it was one of my favorite quick dinners to stop and pick up. They were SO good. One of the things that makes this meal for us is the chicken dipping sauce, you can buy it in the Asian isle of most grocery stores and even Wal-Mart. So, next time you don't know what to have for dinner, and especially if it is a Tuesday, grab a bottle of sauce and a chicken and say a prayer for our kids and that they would be able to come home soon.
I have several posts stirring in my heart that I hope to type up soon....what we sent our kids for their birthdays, a challenging John Piper sermon I read on the beach during our anniversary trip, and an amazing gift we received, to name a few. Thanks for journeying along with us, especially on Thai Tuesdays.
Tuesday, May 20, 2014
Thai Tuesday-Masman Curry and Lots of Prayers
Please, if you are reading this, stop and say and prayer for the Thai government and the military. Today, the Thai people woke to the military chief declaring martial law across the country. There has been ongoing political unrest in Thailand for over six months now as the opposing parties argue over who should be prime minister. I don't pretend to understand all that is going on in Thailand, but I am praying for peaceful resolution, and soon.
If you want to read more about what is going on in Thailand, you can click here. It is definitely discouraging to read of the ongoing unrest in Thailand. We are told that adoptions are still being processed, but it certainly seems to have slowed things down. We are praying that many first approvals are granted tonight (Wednesday morning in Thailand) at the board meeting.
Well, it wouldn't be Tuesday around here if we didn't have a little Thai food. I have to say, I took a shortcut tonight and used a packaged curry. Not my favorite, but it worked!
If you want to read more about what is going on in Thailand, you can click here. It is definitely discouraging to read of the ongoing unrest in Thailand. We are told that adoptions are still being processed, but it certainly seems to have slowed things down. We are praying that many first approvals are granted tonight (Wednesday morning in Thailand) at the board meeting.
Well, it wouldn't be Tuesday around here if we didn't have a little Thai food. I have to say, I took a shortcut tonight and used a packaged curry. Not my favorite, but it worked!
First, I started with these two ingredients.
Next, I diced up some chicken and potatoes.
After cooking the chicken in the sauce, I added the potatoes and some peanuts and that was it. Masman Curry.
Not nearly as good as the curry you can get in Thailand, but it was edible!
Wednesday, April 30, 2014
Bittersweet Update Time
As I have mentioned before, we receive an update on our kids every four months or so. When we know it is update time, we wait expectantly for an email to come saying the update is here. We get a little giddy with excitement wondering how our kids will have changed, what they will look like, what we will learn about them.
This is our third update since we have been matched with our kids and wow, is it such a bittersweet thing.
Bitter because we are watching our kids grow up though pictures. They are growing and changing, and we are sad that we are missing so much of their little lives. They change SO much in between every update, they get a little bigger and they are going through phases without us. They are no longer drinking from bottles (Thai kids generally take a bottle until age 3-4). They are toilet trained. Now I know, some of you are thinking, that's amazing! Not really, it means we missed another stage.
Sweet because we get to see their precious faces and they are beautiful!! I wish I could share them with you, but we have been asked not to share them publically. Trust me though, they are beautiful! It is also sweet because we can tell they are being well taken care of. They have smiles on their faces and they are sitting close to their foster mom. They are wearing clean clothes and their hair is being taken care of (our little girl has the most adorable pig tails!), all the little things. And trust me, we notice every little detail of these pictures.
This update was especially sweet because we finally know (we had just been told to assume) that they know about us. In the pictures we received, they were each holding the bears we sent them, and the reports said that they enjoy looking through the album of pictures we sent and they point to us and call us "Mommy" and "Daddy". Marc and I agree, it is kind of a crazy thing to think that there are two little kids on the other side of the world calling us "Mommy" and "Daddy". Crazy amazing!!
We are in love with them. We don't know exactly how we can love two little people who we have never met so very much, but we do. We love them. And we cannot wait to get a call saying that we have first approval and can travel to bring them home.
Will you pray with us? The Thai Adoption Board will not be meeting this Wednesday morning like they normally do, they will be meeting on Thursday morning, May 8th, so our Wednesday night, May 7th. So, we will be having "Thai Wednesday" instead. At any one of these meetings they could grant us first approval.
Speaking of bittersweet, I am reading an excellent book right now with that very word as its title. It is true of so many things in life, not just our updates, so many things are bittersweet. But that is a whole other blog post for another time!
This is our third update since we have been matched with our kids and wow, is it such a bittersweet thing.
Bitter because we are watching our kids grow up though pictures. They are growing and changing, and we are sad that we are missing so much of their little lives. They change SO much in between every update, they get a little bigger and they are going through phases without us. They are no longer drinking from bottles (Thai kids generally take a bottle until age 3-4). They are toilet trained. Now I know, some of you are thinking, that's amazing! Not really, it means we missed another stage.
Sweet because we get to see their precious faces and they are beautiful!! I wish I could share them with you, but we have been asked not to share them publically. Trust me though, they are beautiful! It is also sweet because we can tell they are being well taken care of. They have smiles on their faces and they are sitting close to their foster mom. They are wearing clean clothes and their hair is being taken care of (our little girl has the most adorable pig tails!), all the little things. And trust me, we notice every little detail of these pictures.
This update was especially sweet because we finally know (we had just been told to assume) that they know about us. In the pictures we received, they were each holding the bears we sent them, and the reports said that they enjoy looking through the album of pictures we sent and they point to us and call us "Mommy" and "Daddy". Marc and I agree, it is kind of a crazy thing to think that there are two little kids on the other side of the world calling us "Mommy" and "Daddy". Crazy amazing!!
We are in love with them. We don't know exactly how we can love two little people who we have never met so very much, but we do. We love them. And we cannot wait to get a call saying that we have first approval and can travel to bring them home.
Will you pray with us? The Thai Adoption Board will not be meeting this Wednesday morning like they normally do, they will be meeting on Thursday morning, May 8th, so our Wednesday night, May 7th. So, we will be having "Thai Wednesday" instead. At any one of these meetings they could grant us first approval.
Speaking of bittersweet, I am reading an excellent book right now with that very word as its title. It is true of so many things in life, not just our updates, so many things are bittersweet. But that is a whole other blog post for another time!
Tuesday, April 22, 2014
Thai Tuesday-Kai Phat Met Muang
The Thai Adoption Board is meeting again tonight, well, morning over there. They are meeting right now. They are visiting with families who are in country to pick up their children and they will be reviewing files of families, families like ours, who are waiting for First Approval. There are families who have been waiting for First Approval for many more months than us....we are asking God to intervene and that many approvals will be granted at this meeting.
Tonight we made a Chicken and Cashew Nut dish for dinner and we thought about and prayed for our kids even more than we normally do....after all, it is Thai Tuesday!
For those of you who are interested you can find the recipe below:
First, mix in a bowl and set aside:
1 tablespoon fish sauce
2 tablespoons oyster sauce
3 tablespoons chicken broth
1 teaspoon sugar
I usually double this for extra sauce.
Next, cut an onion in wedges and thinly slice a red (or yellow or orange) pepper and set aside.
Third, brown about 1/2 cup of cashew nuts over medium high heat in a tablespoon or so of vegetable oil. They will brown very quickly, so keep a close eye on them. Once brown, set aside in a bowl.
Forth, take a handful of dried chili peppers and snip the ends off of them. Discard the seeds or keep some of the seeds to give the dish some spice. Brown the chilies for a minute or two and then set aside in the bowl with the cashew nuts.
Tonight we made a Chicken and Cashew Nut dish for dinner and we thought about and prayed for our kids even more than we normally do....after all, it is Thai Tuesday!
For those of you who are interested you can find the recipe below:
First, mix in a bowl and set aside:
1 tablespoon fish sauce
2 tablespoons oyster sauce
3 tablespoons chicken broth
1 teaspoon sugar
I usually double this for extra sauce.
Next, cut an onion in wedges and thinly slice a red (or yellow or orange) pepper and set aside.
Third, brown about 1/2 cup of cashew nuts over medium high heat in a tablespoon or so of vegetable oil. They will brown very quickly, so keep a close eye on them. Once brown, set aside in a bowl.
Forth, take a handful of dried chili peppers and snip the ends off of them. Discard the seeds or keep some of the seeds to give the dish some spice. Brown the chilies for a minute or two and then set aside in the bowl with the cashew nuts.
Fifth, brown the onions and set aside in a bowl. Now you have all of these items prepped.
Sixth, stir-fry a tablespoon or so of minced garlic until light brown in the same oil used for the nuts and chilies. Then add a pound or so of chicken that has been thinly sliced. And stir-fry on medium high heat.
Finally, add the red pepper and cook for 2-3 minutes. Then, add the onion, sauce mixture, cashew nuts, and dried chilies and heat for 1-2 minutes. I also usually like to add a couple of green onions cut into one inch pieces, but I didn't have any tonight so we left them out.
And there it is, Kai Phat Met Muang! Serve over jasmine rice and enjoy!
Monday, April 21, 2014
The Cross is Enough
I am ashamed to admit that I have, at times, questioned God and even had moments of doubting His love for me. Crazy I know, but sadly, its true. Sometimes I get so focused on myself that I fail to see the big picture. Sometimes I have such a myopic view, that all I can see is what is right in front of me. "Why me?" I have questioned Him. "Why not me?", I have asked.
If Jesus, never did anything else for me ever again, He has done enough. He died for me.
Did you read that? He. Died. For. Me.
For doubting, ungrateful, worrisome, impatient me. He died for me. Wow, talk about humbling. Talk about love. Jesus Christ paid the ultimate sacrifice, He was beaten and betrayed. He hung on a cross and allowed nails to be hammered into his hands and feet because He loves me. He gave His life, His very life, because He loves me.
Did you read that? He. Loves. Me.
The cross is enough, its enough. If God never saw fit to give me anything else in my life, He gave me Jesus. He provided a way so that I could have a relationship with Him, so I could have the hope of Heaven and eternity with Him.
This Easter, I have stood in wonder, soaking it in, the depths of His love for me. Oh how I long to stay focused on all that He has done, instead of on what He has not yet done. He has a plan, always a plan. His ways are perfect and He has redemption in mind.
If you are reading this blog and you have never experienced the wonder of the cross, if you have never experienced His personal love for you, what are you waiting for? Jesus' death on the cross makes such a difference, no, it makes all the difference in my life and it can in yours too.
John 3:16-18 is a great place to start reading if you want to learn about the cross.
If Jesus, never did anything else for me ever again, He has done enough. He died for me.
Did you read that? He. Died. For. Me.
For doubting, ungrateful, worrisome, impatient me. He died for me. Wow, talk about humbling. Talk about love. Jesus Christ paid the ultimate sacrifice, He was beaten and betrayed. He hung on a cross and allowed nails to be hammered into his hands and feet because He loves me. He gave His life, His very life, because He loves me.
Did you read that? He. Loves. Me.
The cross is enough, its enough. If God never saw fit to give me anything else in my life, He gave me Jesus. He provided a way so that I could have a relationship with Him, so I could have the hope of Heaven and eternity with Him.
This Easter, I have stood in wonder, soaking it in, the depths of His love for me. Oh how I long to stay focused on all that He has done, instead of on what He has not yet done. He has a plan, always a plan. His ways are perfect and He has redemption in mind.
If you are reading this blog and you have never experienced the wonder of the cross, if you have never experienced His personal love for you, what are you waiting for? Jesus' death on the cross makes such a difference, no, it makes all the difference in my life and it can in yours too.
John 3:16-18 is a great place to start reading if you want to learn about the cross.
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| Thank you Lord, for the cross, it is enough. |
Tuesday, April 15, 2014
Thai Tuesday-Surf and Turf
Today was Tuesday, Thai Tuesday, if you read my last post! We so enjoyed hearing from a few family members and friends who were eating Thai food and praying for us and our kids. We cannot even begin to say what a blessing and encouragement it is to have others walk this road with us.
I wore my Thailand necklace today....somehow it always makes me feel a little closer to my kids.
We enjoyed a little of our own Thai food tonight! We made two of our favorite recipes and I thought I would share them on here in case anyone is interested in trying them out.
I found some steak and salmon marked down at the grocery store over the weekend and that was the inspiration for our meal. The only other ingredients I had to buy that I didn't have on hand were Asian shallots and limes. These are both pretty simple dishes and great summertime ones as you cook the meat of the grill. (Bless my dear husband for cooking in the cold and rain tonight!)
Thai people love their sauces! There is always at least fish sauce on the table when you eat a meal in Thailand and often a chili sauce of some sorts as well. What makes these two dishes so yummy are the sauces, a perfect combination of salty and sweet and salty and sour.
The first dish we made is called "Yam Neua Yang Nahm Toke" or "Sliced Steak with Hot and Sour Sauce" (from The Food of Thailand cookbook).
Here is what is needed:
12-16 ounces lean sirloin or fillet steak
2 tablespoons fish sauce (I promise it tastes good mixed in!)
4 tablespoons lime juice (fresh is best!)
1 teaspoon sugar
1/4 teaspoon chili powder
3-4 Asian shallots, finely sliced
a few lettuce leaves to serve (optional)
Heat the grill to medium. Sprinkle salt and pepper on both sides of the meat. Cook for 5 to 7 minutes on each side, turning occasionally.
Once the meat is done, using a sharp knife, slice the cooked beef crossways into strips.
Mix the fish sauce, lime juice, sugar, and chili powder in a bowl. Add the Asian shallots and the slices of beef. Serve over jasmine rice.
2 fish steaks (swordfish, salmon, halibut, etc.)
Thai Glaze:
1/2 cup honey
2 tablespoons soy sauce
1 tablespoon fresh ginger grated or 1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
1 teaspoon lime peel, grated
1 teaspoon garlic, minced
Red pepper flakes (optional)
Juice from one lime
Mix first six glaze ingredients in a bowl. Preheat grill to medium high. Lightly spray fish steaks with canola oil, and place on hot grates. Sear for about 2 to 3 minutes or until sear marks appear. Flip over to a clean section of the grates to sear the other side, about 2 to 3 minutes.
When both sides are seared but fish is not quite cooked through, remove it to a tray away from heat, and brush on the glaze. Turn, and repeat on other side of fish. Fish is done when center is opaque and approximately 145 degrees. Place fish steaks on platter, and sprinkle with lime juice.
As I mentioned, my husband is the grill master, he also humored me by taking the pictures of our dinner!
We actually found out on Friday that the Thai Adoption Board is not meeting this week because of the Thai holiday. It is the Thai New Year, also known as Songkran, right now. So, while there is no meeting this week, we appreciate all the prayers for our kids and the board, because the prayers are needed, whether it is a meeting week or not. They will be meeting next Wednesday morning, Tuesday night our time.
Anyone else what to join in on Thai Tuesdays? If you are not feeling adventurous with your cooking, maybe you can find a Thai restaurant nearby! And whether you eat Thai food or not, would you please consider praying with us every other Tuesday evening when the Thai Adoption Board meets?
I wore my Thailand necklace today....somehow it always makes me feel a little closer to my kids.
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| We are praying for you dear country of Thailand! |
I found some steak and salmon marked down at the grocery store over the weekend and that was the inspiration for our meal. The only other ingredients I had to buy that I didn't have on hand were Asian shallots and limes. These are both pretty simple dishes and great summertime ones as you cook the meat of the grill. (Bless my dear husband for cooking in the cold and rain tonight!)
Thai people love their sauces! There is always at least fish sauce on the table when you eat a meal in Thailand and often a chili sauce of some sorts as well. What makes these two dishes so yummy are the sauces, a perfect combination of salty and sweet and salty and sour.
The first dish we made is called "Yam Neua Yang Nahm Toke" or "Sliced Steak with Hot and Sour Sauce" (from The Food of Thailand cookbook).
Here is what is needed:
12-16 ounces lean sirloin or fillet steak
2 tablespoons fish sauce (I promise it tastes good mixed in!)
4 tablespoons lime juice (fresh is best!)
1 teaspoon sugar
1/4 teaspoon chili powder
3-4 Asian shallots, finely sliced
a few lettuce leaves to serve (optional)
Heat the grill to medium. Sprinkle salt and pepper on both sides of the meat. Cook for 5 to 7 minutes on each side, turning occasionally.
Once the meat is done, using a sharp knife, slice the cooked beef crossways into strips.
Mix the fish sauce, lime juice, sugar, and chili powder in a bowl. Add the Asian shallots and the slices of beef. Serve over jasmine rice.
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| Sliced Steak with Hot and Sour Sauce |
Thai Glazed Fish (from America Grills Cookbook)
Thai Glaze:
1/2 cup honey
2 tablespoons soy sauce
1 tablespoon fresh ginger grated or 1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
1 teaspoon lime peel, grated
1 teaspoon garlic, minced
Red pepper flakes (optional)
Juice from one lime
Mix first six glaze ingredients in a bowl. Preheat grill to medium high. Lightly spray fish steaks with canola oil, and place on hot grates. Sear for about 2 to 3 minutes or until sear marks appear. Flip over to a clean section of the grates to sear the other side, about 2 to 3 minutes.
When both sides are seared but fish is not quite cooked through, remove it to a tray away from heat, and brush on the glaze. Turn, and repeat on other side of fish. Fish is done when center is opaque and approximately 145 degrees. Place fish steaks on platter, and sprinkle with lime juice.
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| Thai Glazed Salmon |
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| Gin Khaw Aroy! |
Anyone else what to join in on Thai Tuesdays? If you are not feeling adventurous with your cooking, maybe you can find a Thai restaurant nearby! And whether you eat Thai food or not, would you please consider praying with us every other Tuesday evening when the Thai Adoption Board meets?
Saturday, March 29, 2014
Questions
On almost a daily basis, I am asked at least one of these questions, "When are you going to go get your kids?", "What are the next steps?", Why is it taking so long?" "Do you know anything new about your kids?"
So for those of you who have had these same questions, let me try to answer them.
Question: When are you going to go get your kids?
As soon as we are told we can!! If we could get on a plane tomorrow, we would. In all reality, it will probably be late fall before we can travel to Thailand to bring our kids home.
Question: What are the next steps?
The next step for our adoption is called First Approval. We were matched with our children by our U.S. agency, Holt International. We are now waiting on the Thai Adoption Board to officially approve that match. All of our paperwork is done, it has been done since late 2012, but there are many cases ahead of ours, and so we wait.
Once we receive First Approval, we will receive some important documents that we need to file with the United States Citizen and Immigration Services (USCIS) office so we can get permission for our children to become U.S. Citizens. Once we get that approval (called the I-800 approval) we will be able to travel to Thailand.
Question: Why is it taking so long?
If only I really knew! One reason is that the Thai adoption board only meets two days every month and there are many things that they have to do when they meet. Another reason is that, since this past fall, there has been a lot of political unrest in Thailand that has slowed a lot of government work down.
Question: Do you know anything new about your kids?
No! The last report we received on our children was in December. We only get updates on them every four months and the updates really tell us very little. We know that they are together in foster care, and we are told they are happy, otherwise we don't really know a whole lot. We should get a new update in the next few weeks, and we will definitely share what we can from the update.
I am so thankful that others are interested in our adoption. I hope that people always feel free to ask questions, it shows that they care. Probably the best question I have been asked though, is a pretty simple one...
Question: How are you doing? or How are you doing with the wait?
The Answer: Some days I am doing just fine. I am able to focus my eyes on Jesus and feel so very blessed by so many people and things in my life. I know that it is just a matter of time and our children will be home with us.
Other days, I am not so fine. Other days, I get down, I look around me and see people with their children and long for that to be me. Some days I feel like it is never going to happen, and I am tired of waiting.
This "How are you doing with the wait?" question is definitely the most helpful one. It gives me a chance to share where I am at, whether it is an easy day of waiting or a hard one.
Thanks for reading along, asking questions, and being interested in our journey....our journey to get Beyond the Wait!
So for those of you who have had these same questions, let me try to answer them.
Question: When are you going to go get your kids?
As soon as we are told we can!! If we could get on a plane tomorrow, we would. In all reality, it will probably be late fall before we can travel to Thailand to bring our kids home.
Question: What are the next steps?
The next step for our adoption is called First Approval. We were matched with our children by our U.S. agency, Holt International. We are now waiting on the Thai Adoption Board to officially approve that match. All of our paperwork is done, it has been done since late 2012, but there are many cases ahead of ours, and so we wait.
Once we receive First Approval, we will receive some important documents that we need to file with the United States Citizen and Immigration Services (USCIS) office so we can get permission for our children to become U.S. Citizens. Once we get that approval (called the I-800 approval) we will be able to travel to Thailand.
Question: Why is it taking so long?
If only I really knew! One reason is that the Thai adoption board only meets two days every month and there are many things that they have to do when they meet. Another reason is that, since this past fall, there has been a lot of political unrest in Thailand that has slowed a lot of government work down.
Question: Do you know anything new about your kids?
No! The last report we received on our children was in December. We only get updates on them every four months and the updates really tell us very little. We know that they are together in foster care, and we are told they are happy, otherwise we don't really know a whole lot. We should get a new update in the next few weeks, and we will definitely share what we can from the update.
I am so thankful that others are interested in our adoption. I hope that people always feel free to ask questions, it shows that they care. Probably the best question I have been asked though, is a pretty simple one...
Question: How are you doing? or How are you doing with the wait?
The Answer: Some days I am doing just fine. I am able to focus my eyes on Jesus and feel so very blessed by so many people and things in my life. I know that it is just a matter of time and our children will be home with us.
Other days, I am not so fine. Other days, I get down, I look around me and see people with their children and long for that to be me. Some days I feel like it is never going to happen, and I am tired of waiting.
This "How are you doing with the wait?" question is definitely the most helpful one. It gives me a chance to share where I am at, whether it is an easy day of waiting or a hard one.
Thanks for reading along, asking questions, and being interested in our journey....our journey to get Beyond the Wait!
Tuesday, March 18, 2014
Thai Tuesday
Today is Tuesday! And what my husband and I are declaring "Thai Tuesday".
What does this mean, you ask? Let me try to explain.
First of all, note that Thailand is 11 hours ahead of Eastern Standard Time, so when it is Tuesday night in Virginia, it is Wednesday morning in Thailand.
Every other Wednesday morning in Thailand the Thai Adoption Board meets. The Thai Adoption Board is who we are waiting on to officially approve our children being matched with us. Once they officially approve our match, called First Approval, we will be two-three months away from traveling to bring our children home.
The Thai Adoption Board has a lot of things to accomplish at these meetings, one of which is to grant First Approvals. There are many families who have been matched with children who are waiting on First Approval. A year ago, most families got First Approval about six months after they were matched. Now, it seems to be taking a year or more for families to get First Approval. It has been eight months since we were matched with our children and began waiting on First Approval. Eight. Long. Months.
There is not much we can do while we wait for First Approval, so we have decided that every other week, when the Board meets, we are going to eat Thai food for dinner (Yum!) and pray for the Board. We pray for them other times too (and eat Thai food other times as well!), but Tuesday nights we make sure to spend extra time in prayer for this group of Board Members.
Tonight we ate Khow Soi, a Chicken Curry Soup with Thai Egg noodles, for dinner. We are praying that today in Thailand, the Thai Adoption Board will grant many First Approvals, that God would give them great speed as they go through files, that they would sense an urgency to get children with their families, and that they would even decide to have an extra meeting or two in the months to come.
Please pray with us (and eat Thai food too if you can!). You can help us bring our kids home! Prayer makes a difference!
What does this mean, you ask? Let me try to explain.
First of all, note that Thailand is 11 hours ahead of Eastern Standard Time, so when it is Tuesday night in Virginia, it is Wednesday morning in Thailand.
Every other Wednesday morning in Thailand the Thai Adoption Board meets. The Thai Adoption Board is who we are waiting on to officially approve our children being matched with us. Once they officially approve our match, called First Approval, we will be two-three months away from traveling to bring our children home.
The Thai Adoption Board has a lot of things to accomplish at these meetings, one of which is to grant First Approvals. There are many families who have been matched with children who are waiting on First Approval. A year ago, most families got First Approval about six months after they were matched. Now, it seems to be taking a year or more for families to get First Approval. It has been eight months since we were matched with our children and began waiting on First Approval. Eight. Long. Months.
There is not much we can do while we wait for First Approval, so we have decided that every other week, when the Board meets, we are going to eat Thai food for dinner (Yum!) and pray for the Board. We pray for them other times too (and eat Thai food other times as well!), but Tuesday nights we make sure to spend extra time in prayer for this group of Board Members.
Tonight we ate Khow Soi, a Chicken Curry Soup with Thai Egg noodles, for dinner. We are praying that today in Thailand, the Thai Adoption Board will grant many First Approvals, that God would give them great speed as they go through files, that they would sense an urgency to get children with their families, and that they would even decide to have an extra meeting or two in the months to come.
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| Khow Soi (Pronounced-"Cow Soy") |
Wednesday, February 5, 2014
Care Packages
As I mentioned in my last post we get to send care packages to our kids every three months. We put a lot of thought into these little packages as they are the only connection we have with our children at this point. Our agency has some pretty strict guidelines, the packages are to be flat, weigh no more than a pound and must fit in a gallon size Ziploc bag. Meeting these guidelines is a challenge!
We sent our first care package back in July when we officially "accepted" our kids. We sent them small photo albums with pictures introducing ourselves and our families. We also sent them letters telling them about ourselves and how excited we are to meet them...and we signed them "mom" and "dad"! We sent them blankets and we sent our little girl a small doll and our little boy a small airplane. We also sent a disposable camera in hopes that their foster mom will take some pictures of them and give the camera back to us when we travel over!
Marc and I had so much fun making Build-A-Bears for our kids' second packages, which we sent in late October. We recorded a little message in Thai and in English in each of them, that we hope will help them start to get use to our voices.
We sent our first care package back in July when we officially "accepted" our kids. We sent them small photo albums with pictures introducing ourselves and our families. We also sent them letters telling them about ourselves and how excited we are to meet them...and we signed them "mom" and "dad"! We sent them blankets and we sent our little girl a small doll and our little boy a small airplane. We also sent a disposable camera in hopes that their foster mom will take some pictures of them and give the camera back to us when we travel over!
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| We hope that these blankets will be good transitional objects that they can get attached to and then bring with them when they begin life with us. |
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| Marc giving the bear some clothes! |
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| Here's a picture before they were crammed into their bags! |
We just sent our third package last week. Since our last package didn't exactly meet the guidelines, we tried extra hard not to send too much this time. I picked out these toys for them while I was out Christmas shopping.
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I can just picture our little boy pushing these cars around in the dirt! |
All ready to go!
Sent with much love to our precious little ones!
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